Whisper Of Thoughts

Towards The End of The Semester

2011-10-13T23:44:00.003+08:00

I am finally done with my assignments. And I've literally died from the last one. I got my butt stuck on the chair, completing the assignment for continuously 3 days. Seriously, the only time I left the working table was when I need to bathe and sleep for few hours. Even when I eat, its done while I was doing the assignment. The power of multi-tasking. =p

I should have started the assignment at the beginning of the semester. But there's just too many stuff happened, in which the love would prefer to call it as the 'unpredictable circumstances'. Too many things to handle, too little time left to focus on everything. And yea, I had a break down. Or I shall say break down-s. Involving many other different things, besides the assignment actually.

Afterall, I would love to thank my darling-s who have been a great help and were always there for me when I was in need. The amount of time and effort they have contributed on me, I deeply appreciate them. Without them, I'm seriously doom-ed. I would not be able to submit my last assignment on time. I'm seriously really happy to have these two awesome girls in my life, which I know I can always count on them when I need them. Love you girls lots, darl Yun and darl Xian! =D

And I also do appreciate the love's effort to drop by and make a surprise for me when I was in the about-to-explode-stress-level. Haha. No words could describe how happy I was to see him appear on my doorstep the other night when I was so fed up of the whole assignment. A big hug from him really ease all the pain and the stress away! Thank you, love. =]

Well, I seriously couldn't believe the amount of crap I've encountered for this entire semester. There's just way too many obstacles at this very short period of time. The amount of tears I've cried, the pain I've felt deep in my heart literally killed me already. I guess these kind of pain that cant be seen by the eyes are way more deadly than the pain I felt physically. Sometimes, I just felt like my heart died a little, bit by bit.

I have even reached a point where I just feel like running away from everything that I have and just look for something which may be like an inner peace thing. Something or somewhere I can go to have a peace of mind, with no worries of whatsoever that I am facing. But I realized that running away is not a good option at all. Its just a selfish act, where it may caused others to worry.

Hence, I always try to stay strong, not for myself, but for people around me who I love so dearly. They are the strength for me to stand back up at where I've fallen and move on. They are the confidence for me to face whatever that may comes in the future. =]

I must admit, I'm just an ordinary human with emotions. There will be times when I got so tired of being strong and I just want to let go and release all the pain I've kept inside. And when I do, I'll make sure I'll be good again right after that. =]

Perhaps life does give us obstacles for a good reason, which we may realized the benefit of it in the future. Maybe in my case, is to know who are the people who I can count on in my life and who are the people who worth every single piece of my heart. =]

For now, I'll just need to focus on my revision for the upcoming finals which begins next week. Then, its time to enjoy the one week holiday. =]

The Perfect Little Getaway

2011-09-17T01:03:00.005+08:00

Been really busy lately. Most of my time is occupied with the assignments. There's assignment due every Monday started from last week. Although its group assignments, still it takes a long time to complete and even more time to compile everything. Most of all, I'm already panicking for my finals next month. I have not revise anything and at the same time, I need to focus on my assignments first. Hopefully by the time I've completed all the assignments, I still have plenty of time to complete my revisions. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, I finally got my very much needed getaway to just stay away from the hectic life and enjoy the beach without thinking bout anything else besides having a great time with the love. =]

We had a trip to Cherating, Kuantan and Genting, all in just three days time. Seriously, no amount of time is enough for me to be spent with the love. Its saddening that its just a short trip, but yet I'm really happy to be able to have a little getaway even its just within a short period of time. Its the lovely memories which we have created that matters and makes everything worthwhile. =]

Well, its definitely the best Mid-autumn festival celebration I've ever had. And I can't wait to look forward to our next trip which I have no idea when. But I'm pretty sure there will be one. =D

Thank you for everything, love. You know that I <3 you dearly. =]

And yes, I miss those crazy, unstoppable, stomach-aching and contagious laughters that we had. =p

The Perfect Little Getaway

2011-09-17T01:03:00.003+08:00

Anyway, I finally got my very much needed getaway to just stay away from the hectic life and enjoy the beach without thinking bout anything else besides having a great time with the love. =]

We had a trip to Cherating, Kuantan and Genting, all in just three days time. Seriously, no amount of time is enough for me to be spent with the love. Its saddening that its just a short trip, but yet I'm really happy to be able to have a little getaway even its just within a short period time. Its the lovely memories which we have created that matters and makes everything worthwhile. =]

Well, its definitely the best Mid-autumn festival celebration I've ever had. And I can't wait to look forward to our next trip which I have no idea when. But I'm pretty sure there will be one. =D

Thank you for everything, love. You know that I <3 you dearly. =]

And yes, I miss those crazy, unstoppable, stomach-aching and contagious laughters that we had. =p

The Perfect Little Getaway

2011-09-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

Anyway, I finally got my very much needed getaway to just stay away from the hectic life and enjoy the beach without thinking bout anything else besides having a great time with the love. =]

We had a trip to Cherating, Kuantan and Genting, all in just three days time. Seriously, no amount of time is enough for me to be spent with the love. Its saddening that its just a short trip, but yet I'm really happy to be able to have a little getaway even its just within a short period time. Its the lovely memories which we have created that matters and makes everything worthwhile. =]

Well, its definitely the best Mid-autumn festival celebration I've ever had. And I can't wait to look forward to our next trip which I have no idea when. But I'm pretty sure there will be one. =D

Thank you for everything, love. You know that I <3 you dearly. =]

And yes, I miss those crazy, unstoppable, stomach-aching and contagious laughters that we had. =p

Tolerance

2011-09-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

I am really starting to believe that there's a serious issue now. At this point, I'm starting to think if its really my problem. Too much of misunderstandings and now I'm doubting. I thought it is crucial to share all the thoughts and emotions to one another. I thought things are supposed to be spoken out to gain better understanding. I thought we could just leave our pride and listen in order to give and take.

How can things ever be good if only one side is expected to be heard and accepted. How can two minds ever think alike or reach an agreement on certain things when there's so many differences in nature besides than sharing, listening and accepting each others' point-of-views instead of both trying to win. Most of all, what's the point of sharing what one's really feel when the other party already have the mindset that they are right and what they focus on are just to make the other party to agree on their very own point-of-view. Imagine a tug-of-war. Both sides trying to get each other onto their sides. Its just a never ending story and at the end of the day, its just exhausting.

To be honest, I used to be someone who never likes to back down too. I've always wanted to get my message across, and expect the other person to accept it and just deal with it, disregard of whatever reasoning that they have given to disagree with me. Worst still, I just couldn't accept any different opinions countering to mine. Eventually, it leads to frustration and anger, both sides. How could possibly the same person always ended up being right and the other always wrong? It just doesn't make sense at all.

At one point, I learnt the true meaning of tolerance from a wise friend of mine. Its a very simple thing, but human tend to have ego and that's the whole obstacles to that. Given the thought about it, does anger make things better? Does yelling just to make the other person agree with you works? No. It just backfires. Imagine the tug-of-war again. Instead of each side exerting all their strengths to pull one another to their sides, what about each side taking a step forward towards each others' sides? There's no need to feel exhausted coz of the pulling, and yet, both get a step forward and still reaches a balance. A win-win situation.

The point is, all each party needs to do is to just listen, acknowledge and accept the other party's point-of-views and share their own point-of-views. Both needs to do the same thing in order to achieve the balance. Its impossible to reach that balance with only one party doing so. Its all about giving and taking. When both starts giving, both gets taking.

Again, I admit that I'm not perfect. Sometimes, I tend to give in to my own pride and ego too. I may still stand by my own point-of-views and get carried away. It is not easy for one to let go off their image and pride, and start listening. But I always remind myself and do my best to be tolerant.

Hence, sometimes I may be right and sometimes I may be wrong. But whatever it is, anger is just not a solution to anything. Screaming and yelling will just hurt one another and that's a fact. I never wanted to feel regret for saying anything hurtful just because I was blinded by anger. But if that's what I'm getting, perhaps, I shall just stop sharing what I really feel to avoid feeling sad or mad or hurt to both sides. There's just no point to it when things will get worse. Its just not fair to never have the chance to be heard and accepted and only expected to agree on the other side's point-of-view.

I'm making it a point to not shed anymore tears on things like this, ever.

Those little things

2011-09-01T02:29:00.003+08:00

Its those little things that he remembers which really captures my heart. Every single detail, every single words said, every single things did, he can just remembers it so clearly. As a matter of fact, I really do enjoy listening to him, telling me all the things that we've done ever since we first met, officially. Those memories that I can replay it in my mind whenever he talks about it, it just makes me smile, effortlessly. With so, I feel appreciated and loved in every ways. =]

Its also the way those pair of eyes that looked at me everytime when I'm eating, when I'm doing my things, when I'm about to sleep, when I'm asleep, when I'm lying beside him, when I'm looking back at him which really makes me feel loved too. You just know its something when he looks at you the way nobody else has ever did in the same way. =]

Most of all, its those pair of arms which holds me from the back, that makes me feel safe and secure all the time. It provides the feeling that I can count on him no matter what happens and that he'll never abandon me whenever I'm in need. I found my comfort all the time. =]

Although at times, we may fight on small little things, but that doesn't mean I'll love him less. Its just a way to understand each other more and with that said, I'm glad to be able to have a chance to understand him more with each fight made. =]

I just couldn't believe I've found someone who knocks me off my feet, everytime. =]

And yes, I finally found someone. Its creepy that we both have this same song in our minds at the same time. How can this be such a coincidence. Told you that he can read my mind somehow. =p

I love you, silly. <3

Life Goes On

2011-08-23T02:56:00.006+08:00

I couldn't imagine all the ups and downs, highs and lows that I've been through these few weeks. I was once told that I'm fine, and then the next thing I know, I'm not fine afterall. But there are things in life that you just couldn't runaway from but forced to accept whatever it is. I do admit it was like a slap on my face or a hard bang on the wall, I just didn't know what to do or how to react. I was in the state where I just broke down and cried my eyes out, knowing the fact that I just couldn't believe what was told. At that point, I just felt like the end of the world for me. Yea, that bad.

But as days went by, I just told myself that life still goes on no matter what happens. I wouldn't want to waste my life questioning why things happened this way, nor trying to find a blame to whatever that's happening to me. I wouldn't want to spent my days being upset nor making everyone around me worry. I need to be strong, both mentally and physically and take good care of myself to enjoy all the great things in life that I may have overlooked all these years.

Someone once said, no one can ever tell or be so certain of their own future. They may be successful or not successful, they may live rich or poor, they may be healthy or not healthy. Nobody can predict any accidents that they may faced. Nobody can tell how long someone may live. Someone may be fine today and not the next day. Life's full of unpredictability. Hence, its best that we live our lives to the fullest, every single day.

I know, whatever happens, I'm not alone. There are always people who loves me and be there for me all the time. And these are all I ever needed to move on in life. I just couldn't ask for more. =]

I may not know what's going to happen to me tomorrow, but I will always appreciate everything that I have, every single day when I opened my eyes to welcome a brand new day. =]

P/s: No matter how difficult our journey will be in the future, I promise, I'll always do whatever it takes to overcome it. <3

Life as unexpected

2011-08-02T14:07:00.002+08:00

Things certainly may happened when you least expected it. I couldn't really imagine for the first time in my life, I reached a point where I felt so helpless. So lost without knowing what I am capable of doing anymore. All this while, I thought I could be in control of everything I wanted to do. The thought of the destiny is within my own bare hands has been plastered in my mind like forever.

Its so weird when you have the feeling that you're not ready to leave everything behind unattended. Its weird when you feel like life has not been enough for you all these years. Its scares so much to be unknown of how things will turn out to be when you're no longer present with the ones you love. All that's in the mind was how would their lives be from then? Will they be doing great? Will they be happy? You have no idea if you can send all your messages across just in time. All you wanted was just for the time to stand still and be given a chance to complete everything before its too late. Say whatever you want to say to everyone around. Revealing every tiny bit of real feelings to everyone around.

The thing is, somehow, there's this unexplainable feeling of relieved that I've encountered when my mind was totally in a mess. Apart of me felt like I will be in good hands if I'll ever be gone. The thought of my beloved grandma did enlightened me up. I miss her dearly. =]

Well, it really breaks my heart so much to know that everyone around who cares bout me were dead worry of my condition. I never meant to cause them any sadness. If I could, I would want to take those worries all away, leaving nothing but happiness and fond memories of me instead.

This incident has certainly reminded me of things and people that I appreciate most in my life. Knowing that everyone will always stand by me, supporting me whenever I need them. Especially family members. Mom, dad and bro who will never leave me by my side at all, working so hard to take care of me with the hope that everything will be fine every single second of my life. I just couldn't thank them enough for everything that they did for me. I really do love them from the very bottom of my heart. =] I really do pray and hope that mom will always stay happy no matter what may comes in the future. Its a promise that I will make her happy as long as I'm around with her for as long as I live. =] Also, I will need to spend more quality time or having more outing with the family from now onwards.

Also, close friends and awesome friends. Putting their best efforts to comfort me time to time, convincing that everything will be great. I'm not blind to see that they were worry to death too of my condition. I know of their intention to channel the positive energy towards me by putting up a happy and 'everything will be okie' face whenever they see me. And I'm really grateful for that. It did somehow made my day each time. I do feel better all the time having them around, being face-to-face or even through simple text messages over the phone. I'm really blessed to have these good awesome friends in my life. Love you guys alot. =]

*Especially darling Xin Yun, after knowing you for close to ten years. Eversince the age of 13 I guess. You've been such a caring friend to me, being with me throughout all my ups and downs in my life. All the pains, cries and laughters we've shared together are all really valuable to me. <3 *

As for others, who came to visit me in the hospital, or those who sent a simple message to ask and concern bout me, or even those crazy bunch who came to kidnap me out from my house just to make me feel less like a sick patient. Thank you so much. =]

Lastly, the one thing that really concerns me of is the love. At a point, I felt so much of a regret if things will just have to stop at where it is now, knowing the fact that I wasn't given much chance to understand this particular person in my life who matters a lot to me now. Deep inside, I just wanted to fulfil my own promise to provide happiness and undying care and attention to this person eversince I let him in my heart from the very beginning. At least, I will do my best for now while I still can. =]

To be honest, the whole incident did create a huge impact on my life now. Its a lie if I said I don't feel a single worry at all. The fear of uncertainty. Nobody can really predict what will ever happen the very next day. But one thing I learnt, I will just need to live my life to the fullest every single day. Shouldn't let myself live with any single regrets everyday. Do things that I've always wanted to do. Achieve something in life that means alot to me or even to everyone around me. Finish my studies, graduate, get the job that I've always wanted, achieve my own little dream, providing happiness to everyone around every single day. =]

Of course, apart of that, gotta take good care of my health. Eating healthy, living a healthy lifestyle. Focusing more on the positivity instead of the negativity. It will definitely be easier said than done. But, I will try my best. Just do it instead. =]

At least, I know I did all I can to make the best out of my life. =D

Lots of love to everyone in my life.

Clumsy Me

2011-07-24T01:59:00.002+08:00

I will not deny that I am indeed the clumsiest girl in the world. How could I not possibly notice that I dropped a stack of cards which includes my IC, license and my credit card from my wallet. Although I really do love my old and torn wallet, I just don't think I shall use it anymore. Or else, my things will just fell off from it again. And the next time, I might not be that lucky anymore.

It all started with me holding my wallet and my phones instead of carrying them in my tiny lil bag like I always do. That was because I just had my badminton session which ended at 11pm and then headed to Murni SS2 with the awesome bunch. While I was happily on the phone with the love, that was when I actually dropped my cards and I could just sense something was wrong when I got home. And worst still, when I was actually on the bed, trying to get some sleep. I went down from the bed, checked my wallet and I just got panicked right away, calling all my friends to check in their cars, just in case it was fell of in the car. Unfortunately no. And Do actually told me that they saw a stack of cards on the floor in Murni and they just laughed about it coz of the picture. And yes, it was my ugly picture which was taken more than 10 years back. Urgh.

I cancelled the credit card right away and I was so grateful that Pinny and his bf actually went back to Murni to find it for me. Guess luck was on my side, as they really managed to find it back. The whole stack of the cards. Was told that the worker took it up, bundled it up with a string and kept in the counter, just in case the owner (which is me) will return and look for it. Seriously, they are just so thoughtful and kind. Now, I like Murni even more. I shall visit them more often for their Watermelon Special. =D

Owh, by the way, I realised I lost my cards at around 2 in the morning. Hence, I only managed to sleep at 3 sth and woke up this morning at 6am. Had to attend this kindergarten workshop in Kepong. It was so exhausting but at the same time, it was fun having activities with the kids. I had fun playing the blindfold game where others who are not blindfolded have to direct the blindfolded ones to search for a pingpong ball that was placed around them. =]

Well, back to last night's incident, I'm really glad and thankful to have this awesome peeps as my great friends who stayed up late because of me and even went all the way back to Murni just to help to find my stuff back. I really do appreciate it alot! *You guys are just so awesome. Thank you!*

Hence, I am now using a new wallet and I shall make sure that the same incident will not occur again. *Fingers crossed* =]

Also, the bruises and tiny spots are still visible on my arms and legs. Hopefully the vitamins will really make them disappear right away.

My Greatest Appreciation

2011-07-17T04:46:00.003+08:00

You just know life's awesome when you have awesome friends around you. Not only awesome friends, but also awesome family members and relatives around you. =]

My 21st birthday party was great! Seriously, I was really stressed out by the preparations and many others things for this party. After all, I must say all the stress are so worth it. So so worth it. Of course, I gotta really thank my mom for making this happened for me. She was the mastermind behind the whole thing. She insisted that I should throw a party when I was so lazy to have one. Despite all the stress-ness and the tantrums that I've shown to her, she's still the awesome-est mom to me. *Thank you, mummy! You're the best.*

Also, I gotta thank the bro and his gf for being my awesome photographers for the night. I was pretty disappointed that a friend who made a promise to me earlier actually broke his promise and worse still, no where to be found. But nvm, this big bro got it covered. =]

And dad, happy birthday to you too. Haha. Both dad and my birthday were only three days apart from each other. So, it was great celebrating our birthdays together. Of course, with his good friends who came for our party too. =]

Next in line will be the love. I'm really grateful for his patience to listen to all my blabbing when I was in stress. I might have shown my tantrum to him too and I'm really sorry for that. But deep down inside I really want to thank him for being there for me when I was in need. *hugs and kisses to you dear*

Last but not least, I really want to thank all my relatives and friends who came all the way to my party. Some were staying pretty far who came all the way just to make it to my party. I really really deeply appreciate it. Thank you very much. =]

Well, what I realized from tonight was that I'm really thankful to have this awesome girl in my life who I know loves me very much from the bottom of her heart. And I still remember very clearly the first time ever I met this special girl. The first day of my foundation year, I stood outside the class, and she came up to me, asking if it was the right class for that particular subject that we were having that morning. We were actually both late for the class. We then entered the class together and we sat next to each other. Eversince then, she became the treasure in my life. She made me speak Mandarin when I was so suck at it and turned me into a pro-mandarin speaker now. Of course, after all the humiliation I got from saying the words wrongly and became a laughing stock to everyone around us. However, I know she meant well. =]

We may have just managed to spent a year studying together and knowing each other in Utar and only managed to meet up few times in a year, but with such a strong bond that we had, I'm pretty sure nothing will ever be able to replace it in our lives. We don't really need to hear from each other every single day, coz we know, we will always have each other in our hearts. =]

She always care for me, especially when I was upset. I know she's upset whenever I do too. She's always protective towards my feelings and never wanted me to get hurt from anyone around me. She even ensures and reminds my bf to treat me right too.

Now that I realized, that I'm so blessed with such a lovely friend in my life. =]

With all the hugs and kisses and the tears that were cried for me tonight, thank you soooooo much for being such an awesome friend in my life, Chye Ying. And to the very bottom of my heart, I really really really do love you alot too. You'll always have me and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me, I promise. =] *hugs and kisses*

Thank you for coming all the way from Kampar darling. You're the best. =D

And thank you again to everyone who came for my party. Have a great weekend! =]

Big Day Preparation

2011-07-10T23:51:00.004+08:00

Bersih has finally ended. No more roadblocks and horrifying sights of tear gas released. According to the brother who went to the rally, the city was indeed in a chaos. At least, its all over now.

Anyway, its funny that there are some of my friends who got confused on the date of my party. I don't know whether to feel disappointed or how but I just had a slight feeling that they actually didn't bother much about it. Its kind of clear on the date of the party as it was written twice in the event page itself. Sigh. Whatever it is, its entirely up to these people to decide on attending or not. At least I did my part of inviting them. I wouldn't be dumb enough to hold an event on the Bersih day afterall. =S

Well, I guess the preparations are pretty much done. Most of the things are actually arranged by my beloved awesome brother and hopefully everything will be great on this saturday. So, thanks bro! =]

I can't wait to see my awesome friends who I've not met for some time. Surely going to be lots of catching up to do. At the same time, its surely awesome to be around the people who matters alot to me on that special day. =D

And now, I'm just counting down till the day the love is back.

With all the endless conversations we had at night and the warmth of your arms around me all the time, it never fails to put a smile on my face before I go to bed every single night.

Happy first monthsary dear. <3

At the same time, Happy 21st Birthday, darl Xian! You know I love you always! *Hugs and kisses* <3

Just Another Story

2011-07-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to believe that people may actually come across with one another or may even have several encounters without knowing the fact that they did before they really know each other. And then it came with a shock once they found out that they have met before, just that they were strangers to each other at that moment of time.

Not only that, it is indeed a very small world that we are living in too. One day, you just found out that most of your friends know each other, and someone will be like a friend's friend of yours. Mutual friend, or whatever you call it. Its just out of a sudden that everyone seems to know each other.

As in my case, I've never imagine myself being in places that were so near to someone who matters so much to me now, way before I know of his existence. I'm pretty sure I've passed by him many times before in my life, or more precisely during the secondary school moment where most of the time I'll be making my way to and fro the tuition centre back in form 4. Its funny to think that I was actually so near to this particular person and it took us like forever to know each other. So near yet so far I guess. =p

Its just another story of how strangers became lovers anyway.

I remember this friend of mine who had shared her story of how she knew her husband few years ago. I was pretty much impressed that its so much similar to those which I've watched from a movie where they both worked in the same office building. Always bumping into each other in the lift. The guy finally made an approached to ask for the girl's contact after some period of time. Guy messaged girl. Guy asked for a date with the girl. They coupled. They married. Happy ending. =p

The thing is, you may not possibly imagine how you will meet your other half in life. It may be quite unexpectable sometimes. But no matter how it was started at the beginning, I'm pretty sure that everyone would want to be able to reflect back in the future and be glad that they have found each other in their lives. <3

Now, what was your story? =]

New Semester

2011-07-06T01:52:00.002+08:00

I guess first week of classes are usually more relaxed as there's not much of teaching involved. Its usually just the discussion on the assessments and examination stuff. The choosing of subjects is the one that caused us headache before the first class on Monday. Fortunately, we managed to arrange the suitable subjects and agreed on taking the same subjects with the awesome peeps. This way, we will be able to do the assignments together as a group. Much easier to communicate and helpful in delegating the tasks. =p

It certainly feels good to be hanging out with the bunch of awesome peeps again after two weeks of break where everyone was busy working while one of them was busy with her trip. Envy much! =p I just can't wait for the Tom Yam night in Pinny's place again next Tuesday. Its gonna be movie night too. How awesome! More fun for us. =]

We work hard and play hard too. =]

Anyway, I'm so envy of the love who will be having a whale of time for the whole week. Looking at him, I just know that he's so excited already. Haha. Bid farewell an hour ago and I know, the week will just feel like forever to me now. And I'm just so glad that he'll be back for the big day. =]

At the mean time, you can hold on to my words that I gave to you. <3

The Month of July

2011-07-01T23:54:00.002+08:00

Three weeks of semester break is coming to an end soon. Spent the first week itself doing nothing but hanging out with the awesome peeps while for the second and third week, I've been pretty much occupied by the new job. I love working in Discovery House indeed. It was so much fun, so much to learn and its all about the positive energy. =]

Each day, I woke up with the mindset of wanting to learn more in DH and somehow, apart of me feels a little sad, knowing the fact that I got to concentrate more on my studies again once the new semester starts on Monday. I'll not be able to be in DH everyday, depending on the timetable for the subjects that I'll be taking for this new semester. So far, I'm pretty satisfied with the subjects and the timetable that I've chosen. However, I'll still need to finalize them with my awesome peeps to see if the subjects are agreeable to be taken together so that we will be able to work together in a group for the assignments given. =]

As for now, I'll still be committed to DH. Learning is just so much fun, especially when you're working together with a bunch of fun loving peeps. =] Eventhough I got to travel far daily, yet its still so worth it.

Anyway, classes will be commencing on Monday and the love will be away for a week. Hopefully, I'll be so occupied with the first week of classes and the catching up with the awesome peeps, so that the time flies in just a blink of an eye. This way, I won't realized that he's away for a week.

Also, I would want to request for souvenirs too. Haha! =p

And luckily enough, the love will be able to make it for my big day. =D

Its going to be an awesome month for sure! =]

Just Embrace It

2011-06-23T16:57:00.004+08:00

Okie, I choked. I got cold feet. I admit that. Very often, I just ignore and tend to shake it off my mind just like that, while concentrating on everything else. Now I do believe how things can just haunt you at times. Also, I do realized how big impact it creates with the haunting. I never like pointing fingers. I never like to live with anger too. But sometimes, there are just things that you can't forget or you just can't wish that things will disappear from the memory. The more you fight it, the worse things could be. Perhaps, that pretty much explains the existence of fear in me. I guess most of the time, I've been concentrating on ensuring things will never end up with the same results again. I've focused too much on my fear and it never came into my mind to learn how to embrace it instead. I hold things so tightly and calculated every steps taken, leaving myself with no space to breathe and no room for any error. In the end, I just suffocate, dragging everything else around me.

Someone once told me, 'Your feelings are so screwed up because of what you've been through in life, and you just got lost and out of track. How much I wish that all these had never occur to you'.

I used to think that whatever said was right. I tend to think myself in that way too. I'm just comfortable believing in the victim story like most would be. I gave myself an excuse and then I just start living with worries everyday. Every single time, I think of all the possible consequences. Not the positive ones, but thinking of the possibilities of things that could go wrong. I just lost my trust.

However, last night just got me pondered on everything that I'm going through at this moment of my life. Even though I do voice out my feelings at times, I just never wanted to make known of my expectations and just hope that it can be met. And when it doesn't, I just suck it in and continue hoping till I got so tired of it. Hence, I realized its just me, myself who got myself exhausted. Its true that I may lost my way somewhere in the middle, but it is crucial to get right back on track once I knew it.

And now that I realized it, I'm ready to just accept the past and let things happen eventually as long as I commit and do the best I can for my side. I will never want to expect anything more in return. I shall trust unconditionally and open up myself once again. Also, to embrace whatever that may come for me from then. I don't deny that results are important, but what matters most is how you're doing it to achieve the desired results. It can be many ways, but I would want to be able to look back one day and glad that I had a wonderful happy journey without any regrets.

Just be authentic and accept whatever that may comes. =]

Awesome Weekend

2011-06-20T01:08:00.002+08:00

I know I've mentioned bout my perspective of clubbing in my previous post before this. And yes, I did go clubbing with the bunch of crazy awesome peeps on Friday night. As usual, Friday is a playday. Quoted by Uncle Do. Haha. If it wasn't for these awesome people, I would never have agreed to be there at all. I did enjoyed myself on the dance floor with them and made all those moves with the girls. Mind me, I said girls. =p

But clubbing is a very exhausting activity indeed. Just less than half an hour, I felt like collapsing already. Looking on the brighter side, like Do said, it tones up the abs. =p However, I don't think I will be doing this in the near future. Probably the next blue moon. Had the experience and fun with the peeps and that's enough for now. =p

So, I've pretty much spent an awesome weekend. Friday night with the awesome peeps. Saturday night out with mom and dad to my uncles and aunties' new Overtime in Manjalara. Then, spending whole Sunday afternoon making cards and dinner with dad at night. Also, meeting the love too. =]

Anyway, there won't be any more trip for me during this semester break as I'll be working starting from Monday, which means tomorrow. And I've decided to gain new experiences by working with the kids this time. I did help out my friend in his kids training previously, and this time, its going to be long term. Hopefully I'll be able to learn up lots of skills on kids handling too. Really can't wait for it. =]

At the same time, I can't wait for Tuesday to arrive too. Been cracking my head to get things done. And yes, I've even attempted something new that may come handy in the future too. Hopefully, things will turn out great. =D

Whatever

2011-06-17T03:02:00.002+08:00

Truth has finally revealed. I know things would turn out exactly like how it is now. I did prepare myself to embrace whatever that may come. I've figured out every possibility of how things could ended up like. I never wanted to involve anyone else but only myself. Often, I wanted to just say things out loud, but I just tend to care too much of the consequences and the emotions that I need to go through. Many times, I just suck it up, and hold back from blabbering everything out. I know clearly that I don't want to be emotionally pressured. I just want to be in the stress-free state.

I do know that many would be thinking and deciding who should be listed as at fault. Or worse still, deciding who should be blamed. But let me clarify this, no matter how awesome someone else is treating me, I wouldn't even have a single thought of it if I'm so happy with the state I was in at that time. Things wouldn't be like now if responsibilities are taken seriously. No matter what, I believe I owe myself happiness. I owe myself a chance to be treated better. I shall stop concerning bout how everyone else feels but myself. At the end of the day, I do realized that nobody can stop this nightmare but myself. No point thinking of everything else when all they think about are themselves too.

Things happened after everything was cleared up and had a long thought about the consequences that may happened. Nobody owes any explanations in this case. Nobody was in the picture when my decision was made anyway. A good man who showed me the importance of my existence in his life, there's nothing else that I would want to ask for more. Its just so that its not someone unknown and everyone starts to create havoc out of it. Between someone who's been treating you like crap and anyone at all who is treating you awesome, you can do the maths.

I'm tired of being treated as just a 'company'. The feelings I had was ignored. The need I had was ignored. Excuses given when promises were broken. Those are just crap to me. These things wouldn't even have happened at the first place if I was so important at all. So many chances wouldn't be wasted too. Enough is enough. Sometimes, just stop, think about yourself before you start judging others. Also, for anyone at all, know both sides of the story before judging too.

From now on, I'm just going to treasure things that are worth of my concern. Its just too late for any changes that were supposed to be made at the first time, second time and the umpteenth time.

Feelings

2011-06-13T02:45:00.004+08:00

Its been so long ever since the last time I felt the way I am feeling now. I can't believe that there are a few people in my life that are telling me almost the same thing, at the same time. Statements made that really touch my heart. And I can't believe that there are people who has been keeping his feelings to himself for more than a year. Of course, it never come across my mind that he had that feeling. Its just so sudden to know it now.

Its funny that all these years I've been only putting all my hopes, thoughts, concern and whatsoever on a single thing, which actually brought me sadness most of the time. Yes, there are indeed happy moments, that's for sure. But, unfortunately, the bad ones kinda over-weigh the good ones. Certainty just strikes this time, when I knew I took a really long period of time to think things through, including the outcome and the future. I know I'm ready to face any consequences and embrace the changes that are about to come.

And I know I won't be alone.

The words are heard and I know its true.

Start of Something New

2011-06-10T14:44:00.002+08:00

The finals exam is over! Which means, the semester has ended. Time really really flies. Nevertheless, it has been one awesome semester in my second year. Knowing a bunch of awesome but yet crazy friends had really lighten up my life recently, especially during the moments of stress. We know how to have fun, but at the same time, knowing when to burn the midnight oil when its necessary, usually after we had fun. Haha!

And now, I'll be having a three weeks break, till the new semester commence again in July. Not sure if I'll be able to find a suitable job for this short period of time, but will just look out for it. But the main concern is that there might be a road trip next week. And when there's road trip, there's no work. Somehow, I couldn't be bothered much. Holiday is a holiday, right Felicia and Uncle Do? =p

Well, I'm really glad that everything is so settled now. No doubts, no disappointments, no nothing. Just happy moments, and hopefully more to come starting from today. And I will for sure hold on tight to what I have now. =]

As for tonight, its going to be a whale of time! Soiree at the awesome Pinny's crib, just for us the crazy bunch with awesome shabu shabu, liquors and games. =p

Praying hard

2011-06-02T02:38:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the first time ever I've reached the most extreme level of stressness over my studies. I am always stressful during the finals but this time, it was really really bad. I was panicking over CB, knowing the fact that it took me hours to finish one case study when I attempted to write it as a practice. In the exam, I gotta write 1 freaking long case study with 3 long essays which requires at least 2 booklets of answers. So I stayed up, studying with Do and Felicia till 3 in the morning. And by the time I got home, I felt so much relieved that I managed to cover most of the revision for the paper the next day, which is today.

However, things didn't get any better as in the exam, I actually didn't manage to finish answering all the questions. I did not complete my case study, just halfway done and out of 3 long essays, I only did 2. Which left me praying to get at least a pass for this subject, no other choice. Again, I was devastated knowing the fact that I only have a 50-50 chance of passing. Sigh. It really sucks.

For now, I can just focus on the other 3 subjects that I will be sitting for on Friday and the following week.

Also, there's this thing that I just couldn't take it anymore. I know things have always ended up the same way. Countless of same experience. And I've always think about other matters that I've established along the way. Hesitated to start all over again. But now, I know very clearly that I would just forget bout it and start from the bottom again, rather than having to experience the same routine or cycle for the rest of my life. I don't want to waste any more time and effort on things that will never change.

With that said, I was actually really surprised when there's someone who understand exactly what I was feeling and manage to speak out what was the reason behind all that. And yea, I really starting to feel that this person can really reads my mind or is able to see through me.

And with what I have and experiencing now, I just don't want to mess it up even when most of the time I actually felt the uncertainty.

Kids Made My Day

2011-05-30T19:51:00.003+08:00

I will be sitting for my first paper in less than 2 days. And here I am, blogging instead of trying to practice my crapping skills as much as possible like others do. =p

To be honest, this paper will be the first crapping paper I've ever had. As in really crapping with very limited time given. Expected craps of 3 to 4 booklets maybe. I'm not sure if I can really do it, but I will just have to do it. No other choice given. With all the stories told by friends who have taken the subject before, there's no time for stopping or thinking of what to crap. And when the time is up, you'll never get to feel your hands and fingers anymore. Its all numbed. Sigh, now this makes me sick.

Perhaps, I shall force myself to practice the whole day tomorrow, after the kids thingy. I've actually promised a friend to help him out in his kids activities in Mayter. What's my job? Not babysitting okie. Its more like making friends with the kids, guiding them and joining them for the activities. It is indeed fun, but tiring too. I have 11 kids in my group, and when each of them calling out for your attention, you'll go 'huh' , 'what', 'yes', 'no', 'okie', 'wait' and whatsoever. =p

But still, I love being around these kids. They are just so adorable and active and so into everything. They bring positive vibe and energy around them all the time. Most of all, they made me happy when I see them smile too. =]

I don't feel lame doing whatever the kids are doing. I don't feel lame dancing to the chicken song and wriggling around with them. Kids don't care about whatsoever image you have. They couldn't care less if you are cool or un-cool to them. They just want a friend who'll listen to them and acknowledge whatever they did and have fun at the same time. =]

And now, I can't wait to see those lovely little ones tomorrow morning. =D

Of course, once I'm done in the afternoon, I'll do my crapping practice the whole day. =p

Fullstop

2011-05-25T22:59:00.003+08:00

Finals is just a week away. And I have allowed myself to be at the lowest mood I could possibly be today. Only just for a day. I realized that I might have been avoiding most of the things that might hit me hard in the near future. The reason why, I just want to stay away from adding any more stress-ness to my life for the time being. I can already foresee what's coming anyway.

Most of the time, I'm just tired being the one who pleases others. Also, being the one who swallows all the disappointment without a word said. And now, I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I've recalled mentioning that one of these days, things will reach a state where I don't even feel a thing no more. Who to be blamed now? No one, cause it just doesn't matter anymore.

And this time, its nothing to do with anything else but just myself and what I really wanted in life. I don't think I can keep up with what I'm doing now for another round of years I had. Although everyone knows of my biggest weakness, but I just got to focus on the future.

The fullstop got to be there and everything needs to come clean. Perhaps, once I'm done with the finals.

For the time being, I'm happy with what I had recently. Being around with a bunch of awesome people did make most of my days. =]

Most of all, I really appreciate the effort and enjoyed the journey of all sands, thunders and lightnings. =]

Word of the day: I'm dying already

2011-05-19T17:04:00.001+08:00

I've seriously repeated this phrase for gazillion times ever since yesterday till this evening. The assignment literally killed me, again and again. It was so much to be done and everything was going haywire at the last minute. The stress of editing the work repetitively, the compilation, grammar correction and so much more. Of course, I was panicking over the whole assignment throughout these two days. Uncle Do knows it, with all his 'chill lar' towards me. =p *Thanks uncle, for accompanying me with all my messed up printing and whatsoever today =] *

But I'm really really glad that someone actually saved me from the misery of drowning in the pool of stress-ness. It felt so good to be able to take a break from the chaos and just relax for an hour or two. Okie, initially was supposed to be only bout at most, two to three hours. But, without realising, it actually summed up to almost 8 hours. Its been quite some time eversince the last time I had deep conversations for hours, sharing all the feelings I've had inside of me. Although some are of sadness, but there are also some which brought me smile and laughter. =]

And I'm really glad and appreciate the ears lent throughout the night. *Even if the ears may come with high fee charges =p * Although I practically felt like a real panda or zombie during the lecture today, it was definitely worth every second of my sleep that I have sacrificed. =]

Also, I really wanted to attend the morning class, but after the persuasion and the insist, I gave in and decided that I shall just forget bout it. The bed was indeed tempting enough. =p

But whatever it is, I had a great time and I have yet to collect my debt of 60 cents which has now accumulated to a total of RM1.10. =p

Mummy Love

2011-05-12T02:15:00.003+08:00

I know most of you will be wondering why am I blogging instead of concentrating mainly on my assignment-typing instead. Knowing that I've been complaining bout assignments stressing and all most of the time. =p But blogging is a way to express my feelings, and at the same time I can take the stress out of my mind for a moment.

Owh well, sometimes I just felt like I'm lucky enough to have such a wonderful mom. And no, I'm not saying this in conjunction of mother's day which was few days ago. I just love the fact that I can share everything bout my life with her. She's just like a great friend who knows the right kind of advice to give whenever I felt lost or uncertain on something. I also enjoy listening to her stories of life when she was back in my age. Sometimes, I felt like she was so much alike me when she was young. Or perhaps, I should say the other way round which I am so much alike her when she was young. Haha. Well, like mother, like daughter I guess. =p

Most of the time, she just know what is bothering me without having me to tell her what really happened. She knows what confuses me, what makes me happy, what makes me sad and what I really wanted. Even so, she often gives me enough room to make my own decision despite giving me her piece of advices. Sometimes, I just have the feeling like she's guiding me to the right path in life based on her own experience in life. Its like she may wants to ensure that I will not make any mistakes that she might had made when she was at my age. So that I will not have to go through any heartache or sadness like she did before. =]

Of course, sometimes, a mom will still be a mom. With all the nagging on small little things, like not having my meals everytime or sleeping late every night. =p

But no matter what, I still love her, very much. =]

Also, I felt so much joy lately. Sometimes, its just some simple things that puts a smile on your face. <3

Club. Yes no?

2011-05-09T03:07:00.005+08:00

The other day, a friend of mine suggested to hit the club one of these days. She said, clubbing is awesome as you can dance and have a great time. But well, I might have a different thinking on that. The reason why I never really club is because I don't really like loud places. Especially when its crowded too. Drinking is fine, but I would prefer to be drinking in a nice quiet lounge or pub instead of a club, where you can really have a decent comfortable conversation with your friends instead of having to shout your lungs out to get your conversation going.

Another reason is that, I did experience like few times and there are just some guys who will be desperate enough to get near you. Especially on the dance floor where their hands or whatever it is that will be trying hard enough to be on your waist. And please don't tell me its networking, coz it is clearly not. Plus, I don't think it feels great to have someone's arms over me when I don't even know him well. You may think it helps gaining popularity, but that's for sure not the kind of attraction that I would want to have.

But, I don't really mind at all if I were to be going with friends who I know well. Provided, we will only stick to each other on the dance floor and not any other strangers. =p Also, not doing it often. Once in a while will be just fine. =]

Anyway, I have still yet to get to Shah Alam for the cycling plan for weeks. Its either the weather problem or there's something that came up at the last minute. Owh well, there's so many things that I wanted to do but the final exam is just around the corner, which starts on June 1st. And assignments to be submitted in these two weeks too. Going to be a very busy month for me. Stressful as well. And once everything's done, I can then focus on my job for a month or two. =]

Even so, I will still be hanging out with the awesome ppl around me. Taking it as a way to release stress. At least, something that I can look forward to all the time. =p

And seriously, I need to meet up with darling Yun soon. Lotsa catching up to do. *Please date me asap, darl. =p *

Relationship

2011-04-22T13:31:00.005+08:00

Have you listened to For The First Time by The Script? I'm totally hooked on to it now. Beautiful lyrics with awesome voice. No doubt bout it. =] Its currently at the top of my playlist. Funny thing is, I often link music to my feelings. I listen to music which can really relate to how I feel most of the time. Perhaps, it kinda express how I feel without having the need to turn them into words to be told to anyone. Sometimes, the power of the music can get you smiling or even crying. Pretty much depending on how you are feeling at that moment.

Also, I've watched this short film by the WongFu Production. Probably you have already watched it, as everyone is already talking and sharing bout this film called 'Strangers, Again'. Nothing much to be commented as it was so well explained on the stages of most relationships. Note, I mentioned most, instead of all. Reason why is because I've known some relationships that last for a very long time even till now, without reaching the Stage 6: Downhill. Envy much?Yea, maybe. But, like what was told, its better to be thankful to have such a wonderful memory and move on instead.

And watching this film reminds me of the reason why there are times that it creeps me out to be getting close to someone else in life. Its not necessarily for two individuals to start off as strangers and go through all the 7 stages mentioned and back to becoming strangers again. It can happened by just going through 2 stages or 3 stages and when it no longer work out anymore, both will just turned into strangers again naturally. Even some claimed to be still friends, but deep down, they know things are never the same way again. The awkward moment, the words that never come out, the eyes that can't stop looking away and just find a way to part their ways. You know I'm right.

There are even possibilities that two individuals might be stuck in the Stage 6 for a long period of time. The reason being, they might have envisioned the future together and they just can't accept the fact that things are not going as how it was planned anymore. Or, they just couldn't take the risk and go according to what they really feel deep inside without thinking of the fears of uncertainty that they may encounter in the future. Often, questions like 'What am I gonna do all by myself?' or 'How am I gonna survive this alone?' will pop out in their minds. Next thing you know, with all the questions unanswered, they'll be start thinking, 'Do I really want things to be like this?'. What happens next is that, you might just wanna ignore all these questions and just let them pass by in time, hoping that everything will be okie again. Hence, the on-going of Stage 6 for a long period of time till they either managed to fix what is not working between them or proceed to the 7th Stage instead.

However, what's important is to know that, whatever happens, its not the end of the world, just like what it was mentioned in the film. Things might get awkward, uncomfortable, uncertain but sooner or later, it will get way past behind and we'll managed to start all over again. Perhaps, the next time, everything will just work out perfectly like you can never imagine before. =]

On the other hand, what I think is the key to a blissful relationship is to stand by each other no matter if its during the good or bad times. Of course, with the presence of trust, tolerance and commitment. Just like the song from For The First Time where it goes: These times are hard, and its driving us crazy, don't give up on me baby.

So, will you?

Is it the right choice to pack up and leave when there's a mess? Think about it.

And I do hope that everyone will find their way to a blissful relationship. <3

Love,

- RyLLz -

End of holiday

2011-04-18T18:55:00.003+08:00

One week of holiday has ended in just a blink of an eye. It started off great, but half way, I was down with gastric pain. And seriously, the pain, unbearable. Can you imagine, I was sleeping and suddenly I was awake with this tremendous pain in my abdominal part. I got no idea what was the reason and I kept rolling over my bed, hoping that the pain will just subside. But, it just got worse till I can't take it anymore. I just call up the bf who was fortunately, just started making a move out from his house heading to work. He came over, drove me to Gleneagles and I swear, the pain was sooooooo bad that I had difficulty walking to the emergency area from the parking.

And when the doctor examined me, I got freaked out by him asking if I've done any scanning before. Especially the one where the doctor will insert a micro camera into my stomach through the mouth and all the way down. Scary indeed! When he asked me if I wanted to do a scanning, without a doubt, we said no and opt for the pills instead. However, we promised to go back for the scanning if the pain still persists after 2 days.

The pills worked. The pain subsided immediately. But sometimes, the pain comes back for a short while. Now that the medicines are finished, I just hope that the pain will never come back. If it does, I will really need to get back to the hospital for a scan. So far, I'm good. *Fingers crossed* Gotta thank the bf for being there for me. =]

And, the much anticipated cycling trip in Taman Pertanian was cancelled due to the rain. =[ Totally upset over it. Most of the days, it wasn't raining in the morning, but that specific Saturday it rained. Sigh. Plan postponed to the coming Saturday and of course, I do hope it won't be raining again. Though it rained, I did enjoy myself spending a simple day out that day. Also, attended 2 birthday dinners on the same night. Had a great time, laughing with the bf's family and also had an awesome chit chatting session with my uncles and aunties during my lovely cousin's 21st birthday.

I sure do hope that she'll like the silver necklace that Yun, the bf and I bought for her. =] Took me lots of effort looking for it though. =p Speaking of 21st birthday, mine will be coming up in another 3 months. Exactly 3 months time. =D I should really start planning for my party before its too late. Still gotta determine on the venue. Hopefully it will be one awesome party.

At the mean time, I gotta start getting busy with my assignments to be completed asap. As well as, preparing for the final exam. Gotta do revision from time to time. 6 weeks is a very short period of time for finals preparation. Once this semester is done, its really time for a trip. =D

Just gotta hang on for now. =]

Love,

-RyLLz -

Doo-Wop & The Hooligans Experience

2011-04-12T17:03:00.004+08:00

Bruno Mars is the one of the most awesome singer I've known in my life. The concert, totally worth the money. His voice melts everyone's heart. And yes, we know he will indeed catch a grenade for us. At the same time, we also know that he thinks we are amazing just the way we are. Haha!

Although there's no acoustic version done, everything he sang was awesome. He even did cover on Billie Jean and I Want You Back by the late Michael Jackson. Now, don't you think that's awesome? =p

Well, he started off with The Other Side and ended with Just The Way You Are. Then an encore on a song which I don't know of. =p Although the entire concert was short, but it was worth it. He never pauses even for a second. I just had a whale of time listening and watching him live on stage.

The only drawback was the camera issue. I just don't understand the security who forbid me from bringing in my camera. He said the concert is strict, can't bring in any DSLR. But hello, mine was Semipro. And he still insisted that I can't bring in. I was really upset till I saw some others who brought in Semipro too. That moment, I was even more pissed. Sigh. Lousy security. Wasted my effort bringing my camera, plus the opportunity to snap pictures of Bruno. But like what a friend of mine said, what matters is the live performance that we get to watch. =]

With all the screaming and grooving and jumping, I was exhausted with no voice left when the concert ended. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't be bothered. =p Its just all worth it.

Owh, Rain's concert was on the same night too. Just can't stop bullying my friend who attended it, knowing the fact that he got no interest in Rain and got so jealous over me going to Bruno's instead. =p Between, no news bout Rain's concert at all. But, even if there is, I have no interest. =p

Well, I know Maroon 5's concert is coming up. Have a blast to those who will be attending. =]

Great Weekend Ahead

2011-04-09T02:05:00.004+08:00

I can't imagine spending only two days to finish one assignment for the whole week. Two days is seriously way to rushing for me, that I don't even have enough time to sleep and eat. Which resulted me in skipping meals all the time. Sigh. Bad for my stomach that I almost get gastric pain again. But now, I'm so glad that all the assignments are done. All four assignments are done and I no longer have to bare with all the sleepless nights with classes to attend during the day.

Also, I really appreciate someone who had been accompanying me when I was doing my assignment before this. Although, I know I kinda bored him off but yet he still insists that he's not. =] * Thanks. You know its you who I'm talking about. =] *

Anyway, did I mention that I'll not be having midterm exam and it will be a week of holiday for me? =D I can't wait to catch up with my darlings and do things that I love doing this coming week. Its gonna start with a lovely weekend where I'll be having badminton in the morning tomorrow. Then, probably some shopping and gift hunting for my beloved cousin who I love a lot. =]

And, I can't wait till Sunday comes! Bruno Mars' concert. Awesomee!!!! =p Now, some crazy people are selling one ticket for RM500. Its just like daylight robbery. Madness. I feel so glad that I managed to buy the tickets one day before they were sold out. =]

Owh well, actually, my awesome holiday had started tonight when I met up with my lovely Yun, Amerz and Gary. Its been so long since the last time I saw me love. =p She's awesome! *hugs & kisses*

P.s: Today, when I met you, I knew I've moved on. I'm over it. =]

Assignments

2011-04-02T21:49:00.002+08:00

Finally, I'm done with the two assignments this week. Torturing indeed. And there's another two more to be submitted in the upcoming week. Which means, I will definitely not be having enough sleep again. But, I will survive. As always. =]

Anyway, experiences had taught me well. I'm so getting used to being independent now. Never need to rely on anyone else is awesome. But whats more awesome is that I wouldn't have to bother about whether promises are kept or not anymore. Moreover, I have great friends who will listen to me whenever I have something to rant about. =p I can just manage things by myself. Yes, there are times when I got so tired and fed up, I just felt like crying for a moment. But, I'm always back on track after a while. =]

Also, there's this thing that I learnt. It says, enough when you had done all you could. When there isn't any appreciation for the things that were done, no point trying harder. Perhaps, when you stop and look at the other side, you'll find someone who'd do the same thing for you. Its just that you might be too blinded to realize that until you stop focusing on whatever you are doing now.

Well, I can't wait to have my getaway once the assignments are done after this upcoming week. There are friends of mine who will be sitting for the midterm exam and I do hope they'll do great. =]

Love,

-RyLLz-

Just A Rant

2011-03-30T01:53:00.003+08:00

I finally come to the conclusion that, I gotta stop trying. I mean, I gotta stop thinking that there might be a possibility that things are not how it appears to be now. Sometimes, I just hate the feeling of contradiction that I have within myself. When I had made my stand, I will still have the tendency of thinking that some things will be different if I do something differently. Which in short, hoping that the results will be better. However, what I realized was things will always remain the same, no matter what I did.

All I can say is, my intention is simple. In fact, its pretty clear and straightforward. Both words and actions used. When it comes to something or someone that matters to me, I could do anything. But, I dislike being taken for granted, thats for sure. And I do want at least some respect too. I can be easygoing but never gets over the border. That's when I'll start to take a step back and my guards will be up.

Perhaps, conveying my message through actions is a very bad idea at the first place. And now, I know someone might be saying 'I told you so'. =p

Whatever it is, I think I can finally confirm on the outcome and helps me to come up with a firm decision too. =] I gotta let go before things get deeper. Also, I've been through the exact same thing before and I wouldn't wanna experience this again.

Owh, anyway, I am still surviving everyday with the amount of assignments to be completed. And I know I'm not alone. =p

Love,
-RyLLz-

Actions or words

2011-03-24T11:01:00.003+08:00

There's always a certain period of time where I will always listen to the songs from a particular singer till I get so bored of it. And since last week, I've been indulging myself with the songs from Kylie Minogue. Its not only the latest songs from the album, Aphrodite, but also the ones from previous albums. I just got hooked up all of a sudden. So, if you so happened to be in my car, you will be listening to them all the way to your destination. =p

Seriously, her songs makes me groove. In another words, its a good way to feel awesome after a hectic day or when something is bothering my mind. Plus, it kinda feels like a confidence booster too. =]

Anyway, its the fifth week of college now and the assignments are kinda overloading. Not to mention, at least 3 assignments in each subject, which sums up to roughly about 12 assignments in total. The bright side is that, I do not have a midterm unlike most of my dear friends. There's pros and cons to that, pros is that I don't have to study and burn my midnight oil to prepare for the exam, while the cons is that, I will have to really frigging burn my midnight oil during my finals. Stuffing everything into my mind which I have learnt from the first week till the very last week.

But, I love marketing. I love it that I do not have to mainly memorize on the theories and definitions or formats and whatsoever. All I need to do is just to attend the lectures, understand the topic and apply it in the answers for a situational question. It may be tough for the very first time, but once I managed to hold the grasps of it. Its not as hard as it seems anymore. No doubt, there's a lot of writing needed which may eventually ended up with a sore hand once its done. But still, I enjoy it. The thing is, doing something that you like will make the hardship unnoticed. =]

What about wanting to do something that you like, but there's just something stopping you? Like what I did, consider the worthiness of it. If its not worth doing after all, just stop and move on to something else. Better things are yet to be discovered. =]

No doubt, there's still a little bit of ups and downs, which is really normal in everyone's life. A little bit of confusion here and there too, but it doesn't really matter anymore.

Recently, there has been a lot of informations that I gained on something that was once matters to me. Coincidence? I don't know. But, knowing what I know now doesn't really mean much to me anymore. Plus, I don't usually judge someone by just merely listening to one side of the story too.

One thing I learnt. Sometimes, its not really much of what is said, its the actions that reveal what it really is.

I must say, I'm really flattered with things that I was told of the other day. And I'm also glad knowing someone who I can really share my thoughts with. =]

Love,
-RyLLz-

Being True

2011-03-19T00:36:00.003+08:00

I'm indeed relieved that most of the things are kinda settled down for now. Felt so stress dealing with so many things which were turning sour at the same time. Not to mention, the huge weight that I managed to lift up from my shoulder too.

See, the things is, when few things popped up at the same time, all we need to do is just to calm down and start planning on what steps needed to be taken to solve them one at a time. There's nothing that can't be solved. There's just decision that we know we are supposed to make but yet, we are reluctant to make it. Probably we felt that things are so right when its actually so wrong. Hence, we tend to neglect everything else.

Are we supposed to live like we are dying? Or shall we make decisions by thinking of the consequences of an action? Both of these are indeed contradicting but still, it goes back to the word - 'choice'.

Somehow, I will never let myself get beaten down for long. Couldn't stand the negativity that makes life miserable. Its normal to give a good cry at a point where we felt lost. But once its all out, its time to just move on and let the past be memories. Never hold grudges to anything nor anyone.

Another thing which I've learned from a friend of mine recently is that, there's really no need for justification of who you really are. Anyone has the rights to talk about anything to whoever at all. And yes, its human nature that people do tend to act as the victim in a situation, especially when they are telling it to a friend. The blame is always on the other side. But instead of clarifying ourselves after being accused, the best thing was just to let it go and stay true to ourselves. Standing firm and being who we really are. Eventually, people will notice and find out what is the real deal. ( I really do admire my friend on that. =] )

At the same time, I believe that there is always faults in both sides instead of one in every situation. Its just that we are too arrogant to admit our own faults most of the time, thinking that it would be much easier to just point the finger at others and no questions will be asked. Everyone will be on our side then. Somehow, there's a wise man who taught me to take up the responsible version of some situations where I had been through, admitting that it was part of my fault whenever I share it with a friend. And seriously, nothing feels much better than that. Also, it portrays the level of our maturity too. Things will just gets easier and better. Trust me and just do it. You will feel the difference.

One of the keys to happiness, just like how the saying goes,

When life gives you lemon, make a lemonade out of it.

Or

Love,
-RyLLz-

Trust

2011-03-03T22:51:00.005+08:00

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy. -Walter Anderson-

- plays an important role in my life. Selfish decision made is just another implication of not potraying honesty and not being transparent. Its worst when I took the risk and had actually opened up myself completely at the first place.

But, I never did regret on taking the risk and open up myself everyday in my life. I do believe that in order for someone to take a risk and open up his or herself to me, it needs to be started from me. I tend to place myself in one's shoe before I made any decision. I know, I will never want to be kept in the dark, no matter what happens. I know I will never want to be in a situation where I felt clueless and helpless. I know I will never want to be in a place where I don't know if I made any mistakes. I know I will never want to be in a guessing game. I will never want to hide the truth just to make someone feel better.

However, things will not always go according to how we want it to be. We cant force anyone to do anything according to our way. Not everyone will be on the same page or have the same stand in certain things. Afterall, it is all about giving and taking, compromising.

These things are all crucial in a relationship. Be it friends or lovers. When it involves two person, decisions should always be made with each other's consent. Selfish decision made will tend to hurt the other individual. Hence, lost in trust.

Well, anyway, its been a great time. I enjoyed and appreciate the companion. I wish I could really know more, but its a choice made. And I will respect that. Afterall, I know I had a piece of lovely memory in me.

Love,
-RyLLz-

A New Chapter of 2011

2011-02-27T01:17:00.002+08:00

Honestly, I have no idea if I can keep up with this blog after this post. Time to time, I've told myself to continue writing but I just tend to be really lazy. The only time I'm free, I prefer to be sleeping or watching tv or hanging out with my friends instead. I remember there was a period of time that I was so into the whole blogging thing and even posted all the photos I had captured almost everyday. What happened to that now?

I'm not sure if I'm starting to feel that blogging might just be another waste of time, spending hours and hours, perfecting a post and then forgetting what it is all about as time goes by. Or, I just feel like nothing much is interesting to blog about, as my life is kinda like a routine. Or, I might even feel that blogging is something that I started many years ago coz I wasn't really allowed to go out from the house as I was still young. Therefore, I couldnt really hang out with my friends to share my thoughts or feelings back then which resulted to blogging.

And then it came into my senses that, even blogging needs an objective. Its just like every other thing we do, there must be a reason behind every actions taken. As I noticed, a friend of mine uses her blog to write down things that she learns everyday. Its sort of like a notebook for her to jot down all the important points, so that she can revise it anytime she likes. As for another friend of mine, she uses her blog to express her feelings. From happy to sad, frustration to excitement. Anything that she could expressed which I believe, do make her feel better. It can be anything. A travel journal, a private online diary, a place to share ideas and whole lot more.

As for me, I think I need to figure out what I can do best with this blog of mine. Perhaps, I can write whatever I have learned in my life on a daily basis or weekly basis.

Therefore, for today, its important to have an objective in whatever we do in order to keep us going. You wouldnt wanna be thriving on a vague objective too. =]

Love,
-RyLLz-

2010-10-30T22:35:00.000+08:00

The experiences gained in these two months of the semester break is totally priceless. So much learnt, so many efforts were invested to make things work. Not to forget, determination and commitment too. Although there were times when I felt like nothing is working no matter how hard I've tried till the extend of calling a quit, but I just knew it was not the right thing to do. There goes the phrase, 'No pain, no gain'.

Most of all, I do love what I'm doing. Bringing about changes to people's lives in a good way gives me satisfaction. Imagine people coming to you, saying 'Thank you for everything. You've completely changed my perception on how things can work in a better way'. The feeling of joy that I will never be able to explain. =]

In some other way, I've benefited too. Learning that an idea can be developed into actions just by making a move. Everyone's got to start somewhere indeed. Which had totally drives me into making my idea into a reality. Of course, there will be obstacles, but whats more important is to focus on the goal instead of the obstacles. Ignore the talking that is naturally developed in mind on the negativity. When there's a will, there's a way.

Same things apply to people's behavior. I couldn't be bothered much by certain people's actions which brings bitterness to my life. The less I care the better it is. Of course, I tend to get annoyed by this kind of immature actions that have been existing for a very long time. Being a copycat in whatever I am doing and also pretending to be nice but having a motive or whatsoever. Urgh. It just disgusts me. Somehow, they never know that they are the only sole player in the game which they are playing. How amusing.

As for me, I will just continue focusing on whatever I'm doing which actually makes me happy. =]

2010-09-16T17:15:00.000+08:00

Finals is finally over. Although I've been living like a zombie for the entire week of examination, trying to insert as many informations as I could into the brain before I sat for each paper, I would say that it is all worth it. And I'm confident enough that I'll have better grades this time. =]

Second year will be commencing on November and I can be fully committed to my job till then. Also, I'm still looking forward to the training program which will be held on October. Will be away from KL for two weeks. Hopefully I wont really get bored of Taman Negara. =p

As I've mentioned before, I went for a trip during the Raya holiday. But unfortunately, the government made a change to my plans. My Singapore trip turned out to be a Penang and Cherating trip. The reason why is because I couldnt get my passport renewed on time. In fact, I wasnt given any numbers for the queue at the immigration office and were asked to come back the following week. Thats why we headed north instead of south.

When we were on the way back to KL from Penang, I got a call from a dear friend and she asked us to join her and her friends for a trip to Cherating. It was a fun getaway although I must say that Cherating is not the best place to snorkle. =p

Also, the sea water was really way to salty. Not much fishes around, but there are nice chorals. =] While at the beach, there were alot of cute little starfishes. They were so adorable that I actually caught two of them using a cigarette box and brought them back into the chalet. Somehow, I think I killed them cause I never see them moving after placing them in a paper cup. =[ *sorry starfishes, may you both rest in peace =[ *

I guess for now I'll just look forward to the upcoming plans for a trip in December. =]

2010-09-02T17:23:00.000+08:00

When I'm totally occupied with my revisions for the finals, I started watching the first season of GG. I know its like the stupid-est thing to do but I just cant help it after watching one of the episode of the third season on 8tv. Urgh!

And then I got so caught up with the entire series that I cant stop watching the whole season. Thank God, I spent about three to four days to finish the entire season plus, I did make sure that I've done my studies for the day. =]

What's worst is that now, I cant keep my mind away from the second season. Its like my mind constantly thinking of how its gonna be, whats gonna happened, who's gonna be with who and so on. Tell me, how can I get rid of these thoughts till I'm finally done with my finals. Its totally killing me. Guess I'll just gotta force myself not to think of it for another four days. Afterall, four days seems pretty short for me. =]

And yes, I love Dan Humphrey. I clearly do not understand why everyone's crazy over Nate Archibald or Chuck Bass, but come on! Okie, I do love smart guy who has determination, vision and a big heart. Of course, I do not like pretty boys. That explains pretty much why my choice would be Dan. Thank you very much. =p

Now I just cant get enough of D. And probably with S.

Till then.

XoXo.

2010-08-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

I commit to adding values.

Yes, thats one of my goals or I shall say the principle that I'm following starting from today. It feels really good to know that we are able to change an individual's mindset from negativity to positivity. Whats more awesome than helping individuals to improve themselves in many ways.

TalentEDge definitely broadened my projection on the corporate world. The experiences gained are priceless. =]

And for the mean time, its all about time management and multi tasking for my job and revisions for the final exam which is just two weeks away from now. While I'm busy with my job, I will have to arrange my time accordingly in order to be able to complete my revisions on time. Tiring of course, but its all worth it.

Once the finals is over, I cant wait to be 100 percent committed to my job and also, I'm anticipating on my first experience in the training program that will be held in October.

But before that, of course, I am more looking forward to the holiday trip during the Raya Holiday with the boyfriend. =]

2010-07-26T03:45:00.001+08:00

I fell in love with Secret by One Republic even way before it appeared in The Sorcerer's Apprentice. And yes, Jay Baruchel is still looking cute as ever. Stupidly cute. Dorky cute. Haha. And whats even better is that there's Nicholas Cage. =] Still, Inception is one of the best movie this year though.

Anyway, things seems to be much more peaceful these days. No more feelings needed to be hidden, no more worries of leaving a scar on anyone, no pressure, no nothing. And I'm still in the search of getting a marketing related job. As in a part time job, to make use of my free time. =]

2010-07-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

Mid term's finally over. And everyone seems to be busy with their second year subjects except for me. Yes, I was supposed to be taking second year's subjects too, but due to the inflexibility of my timetable, I gotta forget bout them and just take them in the upcoming semester. Which means, I will be having two months of holiday instead after the finals before second year commence. Also, it means that, I should look for a job too.

The good news is that, holiday for Raya will be right after the finals and I will be going off for a trip. =] Destination still unknown for now, but might be Hong Kong or Taiwan or even Bali. Awesome! Cant wait for the holiday. =D

At the mean time, gotta concentrate on the finals which will be in one and a half month's time. =]

2010-07-18T02:48:00.000+08:00

Penang trip was overall just okie. In fact, the fun was spoiled even before we got there. The roadblock before Sungkai Reststop was a mood spoiler. We got no idea how we would ended up being pull over due to speeding while the other two Sat Neos managed to escape when they were way ahead of us. Sigh. Plus the policeman actually negotiated the amount of bribery with us. Wtf.

Police: Kereta bawak laju oh. Mcm maner.

Andz: Boleh settle?

Police: Mcm maner nak settle?

Andz: Rm20 boleh?

Police: Maner boleh. Rm50 la.

Andz: Takde la bang. Rm20 je.

Police: Bawak gf lagi tu. Gf takkan takde.

Andz: Takkan nak suruh perempuan bagi. Rm20 je bang. Takde duit. Nak gi Penang lagi.

Police: Macam ni saya saman je la.

Andz: Okie la. Saman la.

Police: Betul ni? Rm30 la.

Andz: Takde bang. Mmg Rm20 je.

Police: Okie la.

WTF.

I'm speechless.

Besides from this event, I think we were pretty much unlucky during the entire trip. The first night itself, we got saman from the police for illegal parking in Gurney Drive after our meal. And also during the second night, while we were rushing to the restaurant for dinner, we overtook a bus and a car and made an illegal turn near the restaurant. Within seconds, we were asked to go to the police station which is only few seconds away from the restaurant and were given another saman for illegal turn. Turned out, the car that we overtook was a policeman's car, who was not in duty. WTF.

Also, when we got to Hard Rock Hotel on the first day, when we checked in, we were told that it will be inclusive of breakfast. And based on that statement, ppl will usually perceived that there will be two breakfast instead of one. Unfortunately, we found out that there was only breakfast for a person instead of two when we got to the dining area. And an addtional breakfast for one person costs us RM60++. Kena conned kao kao. Sigh. Bad experience in Hard Rock. Plus, the stay wasnt worth the amount paid.

Other than that, the food and the visiting with Andz and our friends were really enjoyable. =]

I wish we could have another awesome trip again soon. =]

Anyway, it has only been three hours of my birthday and I've received so many wishes from my friends. One of them even called, who is my beloved Chye Ying. Love her so muchhh! =D So many awesome friends I have, and I'm glad. =]

Thanks for all the wishes people! =D

2010-07-12T16:38:00.000+08:00

Never imagine that the only person who I thought is different turned out to be just the same. Someone who I respect and care so much from the beginning till the end. Every single thing I did, I always hope for the best. I never wanted to be a heart breaker. I never wanted to see anyone sad. I tried my very best. Despite of everything, I am always the one to be blamed, and it doesn't matter. But telling the whole world, thats just way too over.

I swear, I promise, I will get want I want in life. The small little things in life that I've put aside for some time. I'm going to get them back, and make sure I live a wonderful life from this moment on.

2010-07-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

Never been so messed up before in my entire life.

It just sucks.

2010-06-20T17:38:00.000+08:00

It is such a bliss to be waking up next to someone who provides unconditional love every single day in life. Nothing can ever describe the feelings that I had every single morning when I woke up and see the most awesome person in my life. It just melts my heart when he showed me his lovely smile and a peck on my forehead every morning. And even more when he showed up with breakfast on the bed. =]

What else can I ask for when there is someone who is such a good cook who can make me fat, someone who is so tidy that make sure everything is clean and in place, someone who do stupid and gross stuff that actually made me laugh although I felt a little disgusted. Haha. Make it short, someone who just knows what to do at the right time. =p

Long story short, it was the best week ever in my life. And I dont think I'll ever forget how awesome he looked, standing on the bed, looking at me. =D

For now, I just wish for the best in his career and I just know he'll get to the place where he has always dream of. Of course, I will be there too. =]

I love you, baby.

2010-06-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

I know there is nothing much that we can do for our grandma for now. All we could do is just to keep our fingers crossed that she wont be suffering much. It really breaks our hearts into tiny pieces by looking at her, lying on the hospital bed, looking restless and tired. Moreover, she has been taking care of the four of us for almost half of our lives. She did a really great job, raising us to who we are today. We appreciate every single thing she did for us while we were still young and cheeky. Did things when she was not aware, had massive arguments in Malay so that she would not understand. Even complaining how sick it was to be eating the same dishes almost everyday, just because one of us mentioned how much we liked the dish for the first time. But now, we were all just craving for those food that we had once complained about. We just miss the tastes of them, which we will never be able to taste again from any other person's cooking.

I know the doctors had given us the heads up on what is coming for us. All I can do for now is just to be there for her, every single day, whenever possible. I love grandma, so much.

At the same time, I really do appreciate that baby has always been here for me, whenever I need him. Thanks baby. *hugs and kisses* =]

2010-06-05T03:13:00.000+08:00

One negative stuff after another. Thats just great. Now with my new semester started, I have a mind full of worries and distractions. It seems like life's getting pretty harsh on me lately. But I will not start pointing fingers for whatever that's been bothering me in my mind. Cause it wasn't anyone's fault at all. Things just happened naturally. And probably, one or two might even be because of me. My own fault instead.

I've always known that whatever a person did, he or she must be responsible for whatever's done. Or perhaps, a responsibility that is naturally existed for the role played in life as a family member, friend and etc. Or even perhaps a natural spontaneous reaction on certain things which involves consideration and care.

I really agree that life taught millions of lessons on how to be someone better in this world. And I even started to believe that whatever a mother said or advise, is something that should be accepted and pondered on. When the words of advises are taken and given a thought on, it is then realized that most of them are exactly true and accurate. Its just that it might not appear to be true at that moment, but it might be true in the near future. Thats when people start thinking 'Owh, what she said was actually true. I wish I could have listened to it from the beginning'. I guess people really do learn by making mistakes in life.

But what matters most is that being able to stop making the same mistakes again and appreciate whatever is learnt.

And yes, nothing couldnt be solved indeed. Just gotta keep trying.

P/s: Thanks baby. For everything. =]

2010-06-03T02:01:00.000+08:00

I never knew that there are still people who actually visit my blog. Probably it was because of the updates telling them that I've updated my blog coz of the subscription to my blog or whatever you call it. =]

Well, the last semester of my first year had just commenced two days ago and seriously, its the suck-iest timetable I've ever had in my entire college life. Only three subjects this semester, including another stupid lan subject which is known as Malaysian Studies. The sad thing is that I will be attending my classes three days a week and all of the classes are in the evening. And so, in all three days, I will be finishing classes at 6pm or 6.30pm. Kill me. I just cant bare the super packed sardine bus, the congestion on the road to get to the lrt station and also the super packed sardine trains which probably will caused me waiting for few trains in order to get a chance to board a train home. Sigh.

But like it or not, I will still have to go through all that in this semester. There's nothing much I can do about it. The only pro in this is that I will not have to wake up early in the morning or have any chance of skipping classes for not being able to get my lazy ass off the bed. =p

Anyway, the results were okie for me. Never thought that I could actually pass my Law for I got brain dead while sitting for the paper. I still cant imagine how frustrated I was for not having enough rest and wasted half an hour or close to an hour looking at the blank answer sheet and the textbooks in front of me but doing nth. I couldnt even think of anything and all I know is I wanted to just drop my head on the table and sleep all the way. But fortunately, I managed to get very little concentration back and tried scribbling some words throughout the remaining two hours.

Whats past is past, and I could just hope that this semester, I'll do much better than that. =]

Away from that, the three wedding dinners that I've attended for the last two weekends were really awesome. Although it was tiring for waking up early in the morning to attend the morning ceremony and then rushed to get my hair done and then attending the dinner on the same night itself. So much of whiskeys for the weekends too. =]

For the last wedding dinner on Saturday, we had it in Bidor and right after that, my family and I actually headed to Penang for a trip. Its been so long ever since I've went for a trip with my family and it was really awesome. Food was obviously the best thing there. Cheap and delicious. We just cant resist ourselves from food every single hour. Awesome. =p

Owhh. Anyway, before I forget, I just hope things will get much much more better for someone who I cared for, Jasmine. Things will be okie before you even realized it. I will be here for you, whenever you need me. *hugs and kisses* =]

26.5.2010

2010-05-28T01:29:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that a simple guy who I got to know from the oh-so-stupid-please-kill-me subject could have turn out to be a guy who brought me joy and showered me with endless care for the past one month. A guy who I only knew of his existence after he made an approach to introduce himself for the moral assignment. A guy who I realized of his capabilities and qualities that caught my attention through the days. A humorous guy who has so much self confidence and determination within himself which captivates me. =]

He had never failed to keep me company throughout my bad times. He had never given up on whatever I had almost given up on. He has always shown me the light through the path when I got lost and confused.

Who would have thought that I could find someone who is so much of me, with similar interests on music preferences, similar mindset and thoughts on most of the things we could ever thought of. A sweetheart who serenades me with lovely songs and composes melodies to express his feelings towards me. Also, never failed to mesmerize me with all his knowledge on things around us.

Of course, a month definitely seemed like years to us, as though we have known each other for a long period of time. But looking back at it, it was just a month ago where we sat in Austin Chase, studying for my finals and watching Southpark during the breaks or sitting on the swing by the pool under the moonlight where we had endless conversation through the night. =]

And today, you have became a part of me that means so much to me. Someone important who I love and care so much for.

And so, Happy 1st Month-sary baby! =]

*Hugs and kisses*

2010-05-20T02:53:00.000+08:00

I should really stop abandoning my blog anymore. And so, I shall be updating more often after this. Hopefully, this spirit will not die off immediately or right after I've posted this. =p

Anyway, the past few weeks were indeed one of the most dramatic moment in my life. When I said dramatic, I really do mean it. It was way too much stress for me to handle. The insufficient time for the finals revision, the insufficient sleep during the exam which happened to end up with a blank mind during my law paper and also some personal matters that were stuck in my mind most of the time. It was just too much.

However, there was one good thing for sure that appeared out of all the negative things mentioned. And probably, it might just be the best thing that could have ever happened to me after all these years. I guess the saying of 'Things happened when you least expect it.' was right. It never occur in my mind that things would have changed. I might have gotten used to being in the comfort zone for so many years and even realized that I had mentioned about stepping out from the circle way too many times but each and every time, I just failed. Complete failure indeed. But, not for this time. Not anymore.

Although I must admit that sometimes, the fear will just be there and it will start messing up my feelings, emotions and thoughts. Driving me clueless and uncertain of everything. And with all that, it did not only affect me alone and it just sucks to know that I was not the only one who was depressed by that. But somehow, I was never to be blamed for anything. I was never to be abandoned for anything at all. He was there for me ever since the very first day, despite of all the things I've said. And how could I possibly ask for more. =]

I really do appreciate everything that was done for me. And as time goes by, everything just grow with all the care and happiness showered on me. All I can do is just to hope that things will get better each day.

P/s: I know you'll read this. And I know you'll know that its you. And so, I just want to tell you that you mean a lot to me now. *Hugs and kisses* And I really miss you. =]

2010-04-10T11:50:00.000+08:00

Its been three to four months since I last posted something in this blog. Apparently, I've actually forgotten bout this thing. Probably I was too carried away with my studies and the never ending assignments and tests. Worst still, finals will be after next week. Practically, I am exhausted. Mentally exhausted. Towards the end of this semester, I'm getting fed up, waking up as early as 6am for the 8am classes almost everyday. Not to mention, saturday classes at 8am too. wtf.

Anyway, the news that I've lost a friend of mine drove me to my xanga blog which was abandoned many years ago. There are indeed lotsa precious memories in the past that I will not give up in exchange for anything at all. Be it the good and the bad.

Well, although this friend of mine wasnt really a close one. But he was indeed a good guy. A great guy. I just knew it the moment I met him. A guy who doesnt mind giving and not taking. A guy who I think was the only friend of him who was happy for us. The news was just too sudden to me that I just felt like apart of me was taken away. Feeling lost at the moment. However, I know someone else might be ten times or even uncountable times as painful as I felt on his loss. I do hope he'll be fine soon.

'You were a good friend and I'll remember the moments and conversations that we had. Perhaps we shall meet again at the end of my time. Take care my friend'

2010-01-30T00:49:00.000+08:00

As happy as its supposed to be, it has now turned into nothing. No more Singapore trip: Here I come. Sigh. But, there will be Hi Cameron Highlands: Here I come. Haha. Will be heading up to the hill with my family on the third day of cny and when I'm back on the fifth day, I will be heading to Pd again the following day. Probably Avillion if there will be rooms available. =]

College's getting sucks. Every week, there's a subject for sure which the lecturer will be away. Then, there will be tons of replacement classes which falls on the Friday or Saturday. Its pretty sad to be having classes on Friday, whats more having replacement classes till late evening. And a week after cny, there comes mid term exam. With tons of assignments to be done. *okie. stop complaining and start doing something*

I must start studying for marketing. =] I dont know why marketing but I just feel like I should. Now, who wants to go study with me?

2010-01-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

This semester's schedule is totally hectic. Total of five days classes in a week which limits the amount of days I'll be working. No good. At the same time, I only have limited time to do my revisions. Adui. Still, I'll try to squeeze in some time to study from time to time. =]

Guess lately I've been pretty active in Facebook and especially Twitter. The Twaroke last two weeks was totally awesome but unfortunately, I missed out the Tali Tenang event which I heard was quite fun and enjoyable. So, if anyone happens to have twitter, do follow me @MeryllChan. =]

As I'm typing this, I totally have difficulty in breathing as I'm having flu and cough. Luckily this happened before the cny. Please get well soon. Same goes to Andz. I think I actually infected him. =p

At the same time, I seriously do miss Darling Yun. Please come back to me. Haha! Of course after Jason has left to his hometown. =]

Well, will be renewing my passport tomolo with Andz for we will be heading to Singapore during the cny! =D awesome!

2010-01-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

This blog is dead. Laziness is taking over me. I'll try to update more often. Basically, I just spent my entire sem break by working, partying, catching up with long lost friends, knowing some new ppl and going trips with Andz.

And starting on Monday, life will be pretty much involving studies and travelling to college again. After for almost two months, it really feels weird to be going back to college again. Anxiety? I dont think so.

2009-11-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

The assignment almost killed me but somehow I survived. With all the hastles, I actually forgot to study for my quiz which was on this morning and I thought I was as good as dead. But again. I survived. It was good. Haha.

So now, all I gotta do is just focusing on my finals. Seriously, past experience made me study harder. Or I shall say, I dont wanna waste my money. =p

Afterall, its just two weeks. Then, I'm like freaking free and go complaining around that I've got nothing to do. Haha. Most probably will be heading to Bangkok with Andz in the middle of next month. Cant wait. =]

2009-11-15T02:54:00.000+08:00

The rear mirror's fixed but unfortunately its in black. Probably will only paint it to silver when the time is right. Urgh.

So assignment's done. All I need is just to focus on my studies for the finals which is on the last day of this month. Two papers on the same day itself. This is madness. But that means I have longer holidays. =]

While Andz's busy deciding whether to get an LCD or a camera or even a GC watch..I'm totally stressed up to complete my studies for the finals asap. What a life. And when he was busy shopping the other day..I spotted this damn freaking awesomely nice AX shirt which I wanted so freaking much. But thinking twice..I would rather take the money and spend it on the christmas presents to be given to his little nephews. =]

I cant wait for Christmas. =D

2009-11-07T02:39:00.000+08:00

For the first time ever..I guess 'pang you chai-s' or translated in english was what we called 'buddies'..are seriously useful in life..they'll never let you down whenever you're in confusion or dilemma or even during the times of depressions..

This happened due to the experience of the worst day ever in my life which happened to be yesterday..everything seemed to just went haywire..spent my whole day standing and waiting to submit my documents..and when it was my turn..it took only few minutes to know that I've been rejected..wtf..

And bcoz of that..all the time were wasted and I only had limited time to study for my paper this morning..and whats even worse was..as I was driving out from my house to meet up with my cousin and then get some green tea frap in starbucks while studying..there was this freaking retard who just opened the door without looking out for cars passing by..this retard was parking illegally on the side of this narrow street and yet..opened his door like his grandfather's road..wtf..

Of course my car was damaged at the side and basically..my rear mirror was no longer functioning..damn..and with that..definitely I was in trouble..

Anyway...moral of the story..'buddies' are still the best..wtf..haha..

Owh..the paper I did this morning..luckily..it was okie.. =]

2009-11-05T01:44:00.000+08:00

Andz: The other day I saw this nice Thomas Sabo pendant..I wanted to buy..

Me: *Awww..such a sweet guy <3*

Andz: But I'm not sure if its gonna look good on me.

Me: WTF..I thought you wanted to buy it for me..damn..you made me all excited and I just wanted to tell you how happy I am.. -.-"

Yea..what a boyfriend I have..urgh..haha!

2009-10-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

Damn..I wonder what the hell is wrong with me these few days..it seems like there's always malfunctions in my body..started off with gastric and then regular discomfort..urgh..

I almost forgot that midterm's on next friday..thank god its only one paper..but yet..I still have not started revising for all the subjects..busy and lazy..

Anyway..guess I'll be hanging around kl more starting from next week..gym most of the days.. =]

Owh..I guess most of the ppl will be hanging out in clubs for the halloween parties rather than going to AAR's concert though..saddies..

2009-10-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

I am fat. I am round. I need to lose my freaking weights.

So my dearest bro, stop singing Doraemon song to me anymore. Damnit. haha.

Celebrity fitness, I'm coming to you. Very soon. =]

2009-10-23T00:09:00.001+08:00

I'm damn freaking sleepy now..and I'm probably just crapping all the way in this sad post..

Glad that I showed up in my friend's birthday supper session which I thought was dinner at first..haha..even happier to know that she was freaking happy to see me there all of a sudden when she was just about to prepare to leave..

My brain's shutting off..but all I can think of is "I really need to start studying for the LLS quiz on Monday"..as well as.."I neeeeeeed to start revising for my microecons or I'll be as good as dead"..

Someone..please please please make me study hard for these two subjects...

History shall not be repeated..no more wasting money..urgh..

Most importantly..no more procrastinating..

I NEED TO STUDY..

Goodnight. =]

2009-10-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously lazy to update my blog..I know it looks dead..but I'll try to revive it asap.

Well..Avillion trip was awesome..pictures are already in Facebook..which explained why I'm lazy to upload them here..while work has been boring for not having much things to do and yet..interesting at the same time coz lotsa time for chit chatting with my fellow colleagues.. =]

I even had my hair cut last weekend..I mean I had cut my fringe short..which made me looked kinda weird..ppl around said it looked okie..but probably its just me who are not used to the new look..I want my hair back..urgh! my mom said I looked sexy with my haircut one day..and in my mind I was thinking.."what? do I looked like an Egyptian queen to you?"

I had a catch up with my ex schoolmate few weeks back before he went off to Philipines..and also with Afiq last week..and now I'm looking forward to the jamming session with him and the rest of his bandmates I assumed..wait till I get the list of songs first then.. =]

Owh..might be showing up in the All American Rejects's performance on the 31st though..and so..I will have to miss the Mocca's performance..urgh..I just cant have the best of both worlds. =[

Classes will be starting on Monday..I'm lazy already..thinking bout the journey that I need to travel everyday..urgh..

For now..I miss my boyfriend.. =]

Raya Holiday

2009-09-23T01:51:00.000+08:00

Malacca trip on Sunday..shopping spree on Monday..working on Tuesday..

Avillion tomorrow!! <3

Pictures when I'm back..I promise.. =]

Still...Selamat Hari Raya peeps!

Unplanned excitement

2009-09-13T18:14:00.000+08:00

Seriously..kite flying is really really fun.. =p

Okie..I missed the opportunity of flying a kite when I was little..as a matter of fact..I've only tried to fly a kite which I had learned to make using paper and tree sticks during my kindergarten..which happened to be failed to fly high up in the sky..

Owh..not only that..I even remembered once I bought a big eagle kite..from a beach but it can nvr fly..not at all..and mom told me that the seller was a liar..coz the eagle kite was way too heavy to be able to fly.. =[

And suddenly..after all these years..Ivan, Xian and I so happened to passed by Tmn Melur with lotsa children flying kites at an empty field..it caught our attention right away and Ivan decided to stop the car and joined the crowd..haha!

We bought a nice wonderful kite and started flying like an innocent child.. =p

And with Xian's advice of throwing the kite into the air and started running like a mad cow..which most of the time I was the one who did the running..the kite managed to fly high up into the sky..but unfortunately..it crashed back down to the land after a few mins.. =[

So we ended up..taking turns..running and running across the field from one end to the other..hoping that the kite will fly high up in the sky and stayed wherever it is..but still we failed...badly..that we actually looked like retards running around..

After the uncle who sold us the kite caught me running around..he came to me..and taught me the right way to fly a kite..without the hesitation of running across the field..and once Ivan threw the kite into the air..the kite started to fly up to the sky..without needing the uncle to run from where he was..he just moved few steps back and forth..and the kite stayed up the sky..for quite a moment..then he passed us back the string and asked us to just control the string to make it stay wherever it is..

BUT still..we FAILED..after passing the strings from one to another..the kite crashed again..then only we realised..it was the wind's fault..there wasnt much wind yesterday..thats why..none of the kites around managed to fly high up and stayed in the sky..haha..so we called it a day instead.. =]

We were all tired and soaked with sweat..especially Ivan and I who did most of the running..but afterall..it was really fun.. =D

After an awesome kite flying experience..we three continued our journey to Look Out Point for dinner..and before that..we spent our time enjoying the view and talking to each other at the tower..the sunset view was really beautiful.. =]

Anyway..the whole journey started with a lunch appointment.. =] and then came along the spontaneous plans and activities that kept us entertained for the whole day..we shall do it again.. =]

Three little reunions =]

2009-08-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

I finally get myself really updated with all the happenings in Kampar. Thanks to both Yun and Amerz. =] I'm seriously glad that Amerz actually made it for lunch. We had a hell of a time in McD and I seriously miss my Utar mates.

I promise, I will visit Kampar after the finals. No worries la, Yun and Amerz. =p

I'm really looking forward to seeing them again and have some exciting experiences in Kampar really soon. =]

After the short lunch, I headed to Pavilion for a meet up with darling and few highschool mates. Had lots of stomach-pain laughing moments in Ichiban. Although I only managed to catch up with them a little since I was there late, but it was more than enough to be experiencing again the bond that we once have during school time. =]

Then after the short reunion, I went for a meet up at the same place with my aunt and two cousins who stayed in Setiawan who were earlier accompanied by my mom. It reminds me so much of the moments I've shared with Anson and his little sis about two or more years back. =]

My cute little cousin sis. <3

Together with mom on the right and aunt on the left.

Anson. =]

At the end of the day, I'm glad that I've spent my day meeting up with most of the people who I've not heard from for some time. I miss you guys. <3

A Day of Movie Marathon

2009-08-27T17:14:00.000+08:00

Movie marathon, three movies in a day..seemed awesome to me at first..and after the first movie, Ghost of Girlfriends Past..we felt cool..but after the second movie, I Love You, Beth Cooper..both Andz and I were getting tired already..

Probably we were tired of sitting in a dark place for almost two hours each time that made us uncomfortable..and so..during out third movie, Dance Flick..we had our 1901 hotdogs before the movie started..and once it started..we were thinking..this movie is ridiculous..then later on only we got to realise that its something like Scary Movie..wth..damn freaking lame..made us felt like so retarded..

Lesson learned: Do not watch any new funny movies before watching the trailer and knowing the synopsis of the story.

And by the time we watched almost half of the movie..we couldnt take it anymore..and we left the cinema..and went home for a sleep instead.. =]

But overall..the two movies we watched earlier were good..worth watching..

Anyway..no more movie marathon like this anymore in the future..no way..therefore, next wed will be a shopping day instead.. =p

Now and then

2009-08-25T00:59:00.000+08:00

I guess its really possible to have an answer without a reason why. Or maybe the reason might even be an illogical one. OR is it best referred to as unacceptable instead?

Perhaps the reason might even be a lie. Nobody would ever know the real truth except for the person itself.

Why keep guessing all these years then? Probably the mind puzzle that it left was truly distubing. Its like having the desire to find the few missing pieces to make it complete.

And when the real truth has revealed, the puzzle eventually turned out to be meaningless. A waste of time.

Infurious with all the blames which were just plain excuses. Having the thoughts and will to actually transform. Be different. Learning from the past. Everything was just wrong.

It shouldnt be any changes. Shouldnt be any blames taken lightly. Shouldnt be any puzzles. Shouldnt be any thoughts. Shouldnt be sacrifices.

Two words. Ignore and Forget. That was exactly what should be done. That way, perhaps everything is just everything it is right from the beginning. No lost. No confusion. No nothing.

I shall say, lesson finally learned.

Wedding dinner

2009-08-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

No..its not prom..its not anyone's birthday..its Andz's cousin's wedding.. =]

The dinner party on Saturday was fun and the catering was really delicious..and the wedding dinner last night was wonderful as well.. =]

Took lotsa pictures with Andz's cousin..the girls in the picture above.. =] *too bad that Felicia was not able to attend..or else..we'll camwhore together gether..haha..*

More pictures to come once I've got them from Jesz. =]

Now here's some of the picture taken with Andz's Topshop Tee which turns out to be my favourite shirt while waiting for him to come home and send me off to college.. =]

Cant wait for Thursday..free room stay for a night in Impiana Hotel..thanks to Aunt Mary..staying next room to birthday boy on that day, Eddie..Andz's cousin..awesome! =p

2009-07-31T01:58:00.000+08:00

Who doesnt love Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal..or probably I should say Darling's Proposal..haha! I guess she was really really excited about the movie that she ended up telling the ticket seller "My proposal pls"..and then I went "Huh? YOUR Proposal? Why you're so excited to get married so soon"..haha! =p

Well..Ryan's cute..and his name was Andrew in the movie..of all names..haha! Watched it with Darling and Tony after class this afternoon..and I am planning to watch the Ghost of The Girlfriends Past too..The Land of The Lost is a must as well.. =]

Anyway..I am now following to Andz's restricted diets..after he told me "OMG..you see your arms..they are getting bigger..you gotta do sth bout it dear"..and now..I gotta listen to watever he advised..bye bye to fries..ice creams..doughnuts..roti-s..sobzzz..and anything that's not recommended in the diet..I will havta ask his permission first..haha! yea..till this extend..I know..but thats what exactly I need to do..DISCIPLINE..or else..you'll see me in XL size.. =p

Anyway..I went to my hairstylist and ask him to blow my hair wavy..in order to decide if I should really give a try on different styles..and this was the outcome..

Then darling was asking me to make it permanent..and Andz was saying that he would prefer my natural hairstyle..and after a whole day out..when I looked into the mirror..I was thinking that I wasnt like myself with the wavy hair..and so..I've decided to just stick to the normal me.. =]

Cant wait for the wedding dinner that I will be attending on Sunday. =]

My 19th Birthday

2009-07-27T22:06:00.001+08:00

I know its been a while..but here it is..the post on my birthday celebration.. =]

Thanks alot to Andz for all the effort..the countless calls that got the Jogoya's phone operator annoyed, I assumed..haha..and the patience to call some of my friends to join us for the supper..which was actually a surprise.. =]

As I was waiting excitedly to end my work for the day..I got a disappointing call from Andz..and everything turned out to be so upset that I ended up in tears too..somehow after I got home and prepared myself for the unknown agenda..I was feeling fine again..and the excitement was not there anymore..

Then we headed to Jogoya and once we got to our seats..I saw two guys waiting on our table..which happened to be George and Marcus..and out of nowhere..there popped in Xian and LiNie..and then I realised..that was all a surprise.. =]

So..the food was just okie to be honest..but the dessert was superb! I loveeee Haagen Dazs and the cakes..and the bakeries..and the chocolate marshmallow..and etc...haha! =p mouth watering..yummy..hehe..

Here are some of the pictures taken.. =)

Our fooooooood for the supper.. =]

More foooood when it comes to dessert already.. =D

This is actually my birthday cake..haha!

My plate of birthday 'cake' by Marcus..and since there wasnt any candles..he actually lighted his lighter and asked me to blow it like a candle..haha! owh..before that..he actually sang me the birthday song..how sweet it is..haha!

My two lovely ladies who kept their mouth shut and gave me a sudden surprise out of nowhere.. =p

Suddenly Marcus wanted to join us girls.. =p

And then the guys.. =]

Andz and George.. =]

Linie and I =]

Andz and I =D

One more.

Another one more.

And then a kiss for the effort and wonderful surprise supper in Jogoya.. =]

Well..since Leonard and Karmen were not able to join us for the supper coz they were having campfire..so we actually went over to St John to look for them..Kamal was there too.. =] and then we all went for a drink at mamak near SAB instead..haha..from their school to my school..funny.. =p

But we will never ever go back to the same sad mamak again..there was mosquitos everywhere..from head to toe..and the itchy-ness was unbearable..hehe..

Anyway..thanks alot to everyone who texted me birthday wishes via sms or through facebook who are:

1) Darling Yun
2) Xin Xian
3) Li Nie
4) Amerz
5) Xiao Ying - Amerz's gf
6) Chye Ying
7) Wei Kwan
8) Jun Ee
9) Ruo Xi
10) Ying Chern
11) Ivan
12) Afiq
13) Shawal
14) Winnie
15) Jolyn
16) Hsiao Toong
17) Chun Ping (Xiu Ye Zai)
18) Amzari
19) Wei Leng
20) Sunny
21) Melvin (Bro)
22) Tzen Hong
23) Felicia Foo
24) Sam *who wished me way earlier*
25) Eilene
26) Tony
27) Vincent Liew
28) Zhafri Adam
29) Muhammad Shazhakim
30) Jespreet
31) Mike Au Yong
32) Wei Liang
33) Yoga
34) Ellisa
35) Navine
36) Chee Weng
37) Stephy
38) Harvind
39) Gerina
40) Alexander
41) Mahesh (from Talentime)
42) Muhammad Safwan
43) Felicia Soo
44) Mac
45) Jon Lee
46) Chooi Yean
47) Jianina
48) Sherilyn
49) Mei Chern
50) Nur Sa'emah
51) Rupini
52) Droo
53) Firdaus
54) Nick
55) Aunt Peggy (mummy's friend)
56) Abang Sham
57) Kak Noora
58) Christ
59) Ricardo
60) Nadzia
61) Aunt Irene (Andz's mummy)
62) Aunt Mary (Andz's aunt)
63) Eddie (Andz's cousin)
64) George
65) Marcus
66) Leonard
67) Karmen
68) Kamal
69) Bryan
70) Andz =]

And others if there's anyone who I left out.. =)

Updates! =)

2009-07-16T16:43:00.000+08:00

Tanjung Bungah was a really nice resort..I like the lobby..and especially the restaurant, The Shores where we had our breakfast early in the morning..the view is nice and I just love the environment..definitely wont mind staying at the same resort for our next visit in the future.. =)

Anyway..Bukit Bendera didnt come up like how we've planned..but as we were driving aimlessly around..we were caught up with the sign 'Tempat Kelahiran P.Ramlee'..and we were both wondering if it was really the birthplace of P.Ramlee..so we followed the sign and directions..and there it was..the very own house of P.Ramlee..of course..it was refurnished.. =)

And then our main agenda of the trip of course..buying lotsa series from Batu Ferringhi's night market..haha..spent over hundred just on that particular shop itself..and we were both satisfied with the trip already.. =p

Of course..another thing that was not to be missed..food from Gurney Drive of course..I just love the Asam Laksa and Mochi..yum yum yummmmmmmmmmy! haha..gosh..how I wish that I could get back to Gurney Drive for more food..

Basically..our trip was just involving driving around the town..walking in Gurney Plaza and Queensbay Mall..chilling in our resort during the night..owh..we even watched 'Dragged Me to Hell' in Gurney Plaza..midnight movie on the second night.. =)

Tried funny things which I dont like as well..the Whisky&Cola while watching tv during the midnight..taste weird to me..and also..the 'Bubur Durian' that tempted me..it taste wonderful for the first few mouth..after that..it makes me feel like throwing up..haha! just imagine of eating many many many dodol durian.. =p

Before we headed back to KL..we were kinda lost in the town searching for this..

Haha..if you cant recognise this cute little thing..its actually the Ghee Hiang biscuits I'm referring to..haha..it was really difficult to look for the smaller branch of Ghee Hiang..that was bcoz the road was mostly one-way only..we cant make any U-turns along the road..which leads to one road to another..we nvr got back to the same road no matter how..ish..

The reason we were looking for the smaller branch was bcoz the main branch got out of stock..but after we got lost..we ended up going back to the main branch and fortunately..the new stock of biscuits arrived just after we got there.. =)

Overall..we had a wonderful trip in Penang..still..I wanna go to Avillion for our next trip..haha! my colleague got me jealous by showing me all the photos that he took during his trip to Avillion..just a week after I came back from Penang..ish! =p

................................

I was stucked in Garden's Starbucks for the whole day yesterday..with my cousin, Jasmine..haha..I was busy studying for Management while she was busy onlining in front of me..spent for almost 5 hours there and then waited for my family and Andz to come over during the night for my dad's birthday dinner in Chilis..

And bro showed me the power of Twitter..haha! =p

Dinner was awesome..I just love their salads! =)

Anyway...

Happy Birthday, Daddy! =]

Mine in 2 days time..yay! =]

Back to KL

2009-07-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

No more Penang..back to KL..and I'm already missing Gurney Drive..and Tanjung Bungah Beach Hotel.. =(

More updates soon..gonna be busy with revisions and assignments for the time being..mid terms in two weeks time..assignment due date this friday and quiz next week..so dead..

P/s: I'm squeezing some time to write this post while I'm now attending ITC tutorial..inserting hyperlinks..tables and excel spreadsheet..boooooring.. =p

By the way..anyone on twitter..follow me.. =)

Penang Trip =)

2009-07-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

Change of plan... =)

I will be heading to Penang instead of Avillion tomolo..which is not really a bad thing..me love the food..haha..and I still want to go to Bukit Bendera since the last time I went there the tickets were full..

More updates when I'm back.. =D

Back

2009-06-26T01:48:00.000+08:00

My disappearance for few weeks time was due to the break down of my laptop..yes..it was way too old..and I guess its time for it to leave..wth.. =p

Classes are still boring..coz the lecturers are boring..sometimes..I dont even know what the lecturer was talking about during the whole class..I even wondered if it was my problem or the lecturer's..and when I asked around if somebody's feeling exactly the way that I do..all of them actually said yes..haha..ALL..

And why in the world that we need to sit on the floor when we have paid so much money for our studies..arent we supposed to be provided with a comfortable seat? cant they just do something when they know that the class is unable to fit in all the students? sigh..conclusion..the system sucks!

Well..cant believe that mid term's coming soon..in few weeks time..gosh...I'm so not prepared..in fact..I havent been studying even a single thing yet..so dead..basically I'm just busy attending classes..and working during the weekends..even the books and notes are incomplete yet..

.............................

I'll be going off to Avillion next week.. =D

I cant wait..its going to be awesome.. =p

Relax timeeee! =)

And owhh..I've watched Transformers II on the exact release date itself..haha! =p got tickets and nice back seats..awesomeness!! sorry for those who didnt manage to get any tickets till next week..hahahahahaha!! =D

Thats the end of it

2009-06-10T01:54:00.001+08:00

The outing with my parents and cousin's family was great..it was also my cousin bro, Joe's birthday.. =) therefore..we went over to Dome in mv for late lunch while catching up with each other..

And I guess I'm starting to bliff in my senses..sometimes..it could be really accurate..okie..there were quite a lot of times that my senses were right..and I cant bliff what I've just been through on that day..

Being totally numb..physically and mentally was totally sucks..was it anger or fear, I cant really differentiate much anymore..being almost totally lost controlled was seriously scary..

Whatever it is..I realised what it is trying to let me know was the real answers that I've been searching for all along..and I guess this is the time..for it knows I'm already ready for it..be it good or bad..and just when I thought that I'll never be able to get back up again..it showed me exactly what I needed to know..and made me realised how diminished that supposed to be.. =)

Now I'm grateful.

And I dont need no drama in this anymore.

Anyway..here are some of the pictures taken during the outing.. =)

..................

And today's lunch was at Bangsar's Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa with Cw, Za, Niz and Vincent..since Niz was the driver..he was the one who made the decision..and everybody started going 'alarrrrrrrr..tak best la nasi lemak antarabangsa..tak nak la'..haha! but still..we ended up having lunch there..and it was just okieeee..

Then..there was Shahrul..the guy who acted as Ali in KAMI..who was actually Za's friend..so cool huh..haha..so many unexpected things in too little time..but..yeah..whatever..I guess its time to enjoy what I'm supposed to for now.. =)

I guess..the uni life isnt that bad anymore.. =p

=)

2009-06-07T00:11:00.000+08:00

Brother's off to Penang..and now I can have the room all by myself.. =D

And I should have told him to buy me some series..like Leverage.. =p

............

Well..it seems like there are others who were actually going through some difficult times too..facing disappointments..trying to be strong..pretending not to care..trying to forget..and I know exactly how much it sucks..

I hope they'll be fine pretty soon and have a good life ahead.. =)

Messy morning

2009-06-06T01:22:00.000+08:00

The registration for tutorial classes today totally sucked to the max..it was so confusing..not systematic at all..and it causes so much inconveniences..Cw and I were totally lost in the middle of nowhere once we got there..looking at the whiteboard..with all the tutorial classes listed on it...but almost all were drawn with a line initiating that they were full..then wth are we supposed to do summore besides taking the only classes left? =S

We were left with no choice after all..it causes so much headache as we need to rearrange the whole timetable again and again to make sure there wont be any clashes in between classes..

And the most fed up was that once you've filled in the forms of which classes to take..and queued up in the line to get registered..when its your turn..the fella ended up telling you that the class was just full as well..and then you gotta go out to look at the board again..and choose another class..and rearrange the whole timetable again if there's any clashes..

Damn retarded.

Two friends of mine even left without registering as it was way too confusing and they were obviously kinda fed up too..

But afterall..everything's settled now..at least..there's nth more to worry..can happily go classes again..hopefully they'll be able to get the same classes too.. =)

.........

Anyway..had lunch with Vind yesterday after class in BU's McD..before that..we went over to Bentley to give Droo a surprise too..haha..then we forced him to sneak out from work to join us for lunch.. =p

And I managed to get snapshots of the place where the showcase was held on Sunday which I had missed.. =[

How I wish that I could make it for the showcase.. =[

Owh well..when I was busy concentrating on the accounts lecture yesterday..Cw was getting really bored and decided to find his own entertainment using my phone..

=]

Aku Keliru

2009-06-05T01:09:00.000+08:00

There you go again...without any signs..and I'm lost..once more...

Built to Last =)

2009-06-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.

'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.

Me love.. =)

and I really miss you..

Anyway..my first lecture class on Monday was skipped..why? not bcoz I'm lazy or I dont have the mood or anything like that..its bcoz I was forced to..I never expected that the lecture hall will be so small..that it didnt manage to fit all the students that attended the class..

Since there wasnt any empty seats left..I was forced to attend the second class which was today..and eversince the first experienced..I'm smart enough to go for all my classes about half an hour earlier.. =p

Owh..if any of my utarian buddies read this..I'm telling you now..be prepared..as Zheng Tat and I are coming to visit Kampar..haha! I know you guys surely miss us..haha! =p most probably next two weeks time or even mayb next friday..cant wait! =)

Irresistable

2009-05-31T03:47:00.000+08:00

Perhaps is the only word that I can use to describe and what's keeping the door locked is still a puzzle to me..but I know I was right.. =)

Those fingers running through the face..the chest and arms that were protective enough to keep it safe and warm..the ticklings and laughters to get awake of..the smile that made it difficult to get off from..

Having you asleep by my side really got me mesmerized.. =)

And now..I miss you more than ever..

My unexpected classmate =p

2009-05-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

I cant believe who I'll be studying with this time!!

Mr Chan Chee Weng!

Its seriously unbelievable!! haha!

And now..we shall be good classmates..kekeke!

Speaking of him..its been a long time eversince I last met Mrs Chan.. =p hopefully she's doing well.. =)

I guess things are getting better..I hope.. =) and starting from this coming week..I'm gonna be indulged in the hectic study schedule again..which means..less hanging out with my darling..ishh..

Excited and scary =p

2009-05-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered how you'll looked like when you're really really excited? have you imagined how funny it will be?

Actually..I've never really imagined before..coz I know just exactly how I'll looked like..and trust me..its really funny..or mayb..scary.. =p

Here you go...

Yea..I know..so stop laughing.. =p Found this when I was browsing through some old files in my pendrive..hehe..

I guess I was really very excited and happy to be able to take a close picture with VJ Joey..I lurveeeee... =p anyway..it was taken bout like four to five years ago..during The Click Five Prom Concert..with a very nice old friend of mine.. =)

And here's another one..with VJ Sarah.. =)

Ahh..what a moment.. =)

P/s: Everything's okie now..and thanks to the nice warm huggies! me loveee.. =D

Not just yet

2009-05-26T02:10:00.000+08:00

Fate is definitely not in my hands..not at all..and I'm just about to give up every single thing..it seems that I've been completely overshadowed..no matter how hard I've tried standing on the ground..I still end up collapsing..so much so..its getting really tiring and I'm starting to doubt my patience as well as the ability of succeeding..

It seems like all my strengths are starting to go haywire..begging for mercy..raising white flags everywhere signalling of a lost battle..its just way too exhausting..not even knowing what is for the best anymore..for every steps taken always seemed to be another mistake..

Is it luck that's been playing the whole part? or is it just sth that I have not realised yet?

A wise man said.."Failure is a part of life. It depends on how you handle the failure."

Probably..this is the only thing that is keeping me alive at the moment..

All the best, Amerz and ymc =)

2009-05-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

Its really sad that Amerz is leaving to Kampar in few days time..someone who was there for me whenever I'm sad..gave me countless pieces of advise whenever I'm in need..someone who cares so much of me..and now he's going to be away from me..I know he'll be back to KL in few months time again..but we will never be able to share our study moments together anymore..

But I promise we'll always stay in touch no matter what..always be there whenever he needs someone to lend an ear.. =) and you will definitely be missed!! *huggies* *sobz sobz*

And of course..not to be forgotten..Mei Chern as well..the girl who I have spent two sems of my foundation with.. =) wonderful moments that we shared together as classmates will not be forgotten..the girl who's always cute although seemed to be blur most of the time..I still remember the time when our group back then went over her house for revision but ended up spending our day talking instead.. =p

Anyway..a great day I've spent with both of them today..more with Amerz though..thanks to Amerz for the treats..both lunch and movie.. =)

Perhaps..I might even be going to Kampar for a visit next month..if Dat Dat's planning to go.. =p

Anyway..I had a pretty great time yesterday..the practice was good too.. =D and I'm really looking forward to the next practice..till we come up with more songs in the list..and just maybe..we would consider of the open mic night too.. =)

Anyway..I wonder if it can sense what's in my mind or its just plain lucky to have always come to me whenever I wouldnt wanna care much..somehow..whatever it is..it remains the same.. =)

Comes what may =)

2009-05-20T03:15:00.000+08:00

A slight feeling of guilt kinda built up in my chest...and as soon as the talk was over..I caught myself feeling sorry..wondering if I could just knew everything right from the beginning..maybe I should've learned or realised that I was just being biased all the while..but I did not obviously..

I knew..it was never too late to have realised that now..although I might seemed to be in no position to speak out or sth..which was exactly what I thought of before this..but I came to my senses that I do definitely have the rights..to voice out whatever I think is appropriate of course..I'm apart of it..

And a nest that was so well-built..that I was staying in to protect myself all along..this is the time when I should actually leave it behind..time to really spread my wings and fly..time for me to look after of others instead of being looked after at..although I felt that I've left it long before..but I know...I just know...that I just took off for the very first time ever in my life.. =)

I'll do whatever it takes..I swear I will..Comes what may.. =)

Head start

2009-05-18T03:18:00.000+08:00

I should have be gone...but then..I showed up..eventhough apart of me feels like ignoring..why? I cant find myself a reason why..but I just know..that there's still sth left in me.. =)

At the same time..its funny that the visions are coming back..good news perhaps.. =p

Anyway..I'm ready to get back to business..looking forward to the new environment and hopefully everything's gonna be fine in the new place.. =)

My favourite =]

2009-05-15T02:59:00.000+08:00

Mocca never once failed to make me feel good whenever I hear them..especially when I'm feeling blue..or even when I'm feeling fine..their music keeps me lighted.. =)

I just cant find others that are as good as them..and they have now become my favourite..I'll be waiting for their upcoming album for sure..hopefully there will be one.. =D

And I'm definitely looking forward to the news that I've received yesterday..I really hope it worked out.. =]

Off for more Mocca now.. =p

It shall be gone soon

2009-05-12T01:48:00.000+08:00

There's always a shadow that I see each time when I close my eyes..I cant resist the thoughts that go through my mind..no matter how hard I tried to get it out..it will always remain..

Although I have always realised that there shouldnt be any need for all this at all..but apart of me couldnt care less for it..despite of having to know not even a single thing on the other side..

But I believe this shall be gone soon..

On the other hand...I actually enjoyed myself these five days with the companion of the sick patient..poor guy..and I actually sense sth good.. =)

Scooby Dooby Doo tooo =p

2009-05-10T01:53:00.001+08:00

Watching Spongebob..Power Rangers..Crayon Shin Chan and Doraemon really brought back most of the childhood memory.. =) and for why I ended up watching so many cartoons or children programs were bcoz there's nth much to do besides watching them..

I was stucked in the ward for the whole day since Wednesday..haha..okie..stucked isnt the appropriate word to use coz it sounds like I'm so reluctant..well...I actually volunteered to take care of someone in the hospital.. =p

And luckily..he's recovering after the surgery two days ago.. =) hopefully he'll be completely recovered soon..and then I'll be able to hang out again..and also going to my beloved Pelita during the night..haha!

Damn..I definitely miss the moment when we have a nice conversation in Pelita and then going for a car ride in the middle of the night..and now..I'll just havta wait.. =)

Get well soon!! =D

P/S: Happy Mummy's Day!! Mummy is the best.."Engkaulaaaa..ratu hatikuuuuu"... =p *hugs and kisses*

Words for you

2009-05-08T01:47:00.000+08:00

I seriously hate it when someone orders me to do something as though I owed him..but at the first place..that someone is the one who was asking me for a favor..plus..that particular person wasnt even being polite enough to ask me nicely..

Who the heck you think you are to be bossing me around and asking me things with no respect at all?!

If I could be mean..I wouldnt even give a damn bout anything you asked at all..

Sending me a short msg rudely isnt showing any good side of you..plus..it kinda reduced the level of respect from me to you..to be honest..the good impression that I have on you wasnt even much at all..and with all the attitude that you're showing..it soon will be reduced to none..negative..

And stop being self-centered..thinking that you're the victim all the time...coz the truth is..you're not..and the real victim isnt making any sound at all..

Furthermore..its best to just stop accusing others or stabbing ppl's back to make a good impression on yourself..coz it wont even do any good to you..its not necessary to be believing in every single things that've been said..and the most importantly..stop being jealous of others..

Nobody is trying to compare anything at all..except for yourself..its just you who were thinking too much..assuming that ppl would care of small little stuff that you think is big..you yourself is making others as a threat and thus reducing your courtesy and confidence of who you really are..

So wake up and face the real world..nobody..I said nobody is perfect in this world..so why not trying to be the best..and stop worrying about how others are better than you do..or complaining how unlucky you are compared to others..

Speaking of that..mind you..they wont be who they are now if they did not play their own part and work hard to retain that status..trust me..it doesnt just fall off from the sky..and be that way forever..

Eventhough they might seemed to be lucky and all..but they do have their flaws too..so why all the jealousy? think about it..and try to show some respect when nobody is owing anyone here..

P/s: Darl's the only one who knew this particular person very well..and I think you feel the same way as I do..haha! and I wouldnt be that mean laaa..but if it repeated..mayb I should do as what you said.. =p

Expecting more experiences =)

2009-05-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

I now pronounce that I've officially completed my first year..*applause*..haha!

But sadly..I'll only be having three weeks of holiday..thats too short seriously..or else..I'll be having five months of holiday instead..after a long consideration..I've decided not to waste more time..as time is totally valuable..at the same time..I'll be able to cope with my work..double responsibilities..more commitments.. =)

Anyway..I've watched X-men..and yea..I agree Hugh Jackman..is hot like what most commented..but I actually kinda like the character Gambit too..haha..why not? he's cool..haha! and now..I'm pleased with myself..totally..who needs to wait afterall! =D

*I know darling will be proud of me..haha!*

Speaking of darl..its time to have some fun outing..before I'll drenched myself into the busy world again.. =) and I want Kripy Kreme..haha..anyone tried before?? =)

And I seriously cant wait for Prison Break..I'm so gonna finish both of the third and forth season in this week.. =D

P/s: I love my Mom...and thanks for all the supports whenever I'm in need..you're the best! *hugs and kisses*..Happy Birthday, Mummy..hope all your dreams come true.. =)

Badminton is healthy

2009-05-02T00:53:00.000+08:00

And now I've regretted watching 'The Uninvited' instead of studying on Thursday.. =p

I've wasted two days of my free time watching movie and playing badminton today..okie..I know..its me who wanted to play so badly..haha..and now..I havta work like super hard to complete my revisions by tuesday..which means..I'll only have three days left..this is scary.. =p

But still..I totally enjoyed the badminton session today..and we should totally make it more often..haha..its good to be running and sweating again.. =)

Now..anyone wanna study with me too? =p

P/s: I've figured it out..and there's no other way...I'm totally going for it.. =)

Satisfaction achieved =)

2009-04-29T23:46:00.000+08:00

After preparing for today's paper over a month..I'm pretty glad that all the efforts actually paid off.. =) and yet I was worrying that I'm going to be dead for not knowing which theory to memorize..plus..I wasnt able to stay up the whole night memorizing all the theories..although my phone beeped most of the time..I still ended up falling asleep.. =p

Consider it as lucky or attentive.. =)

And for now..one more to go and I'm done with the foundation..

Therefore..I shall be really busy for the whole week preparing for this paper..although I'm willing to make myself free for a day just to have a day out with my darling..but too bad..my offer is not appreciated..*yess you darl..hmp! go watch movie yourself! haha! =p*

Lets hope that I'll be able to prepare for the upcoming paper on time..good luck guys! =)

Here's some snapshots taken during study session with Amerz and Meichern.. =)

And we were really serious when studying okie.. =p

At the same time..I would like to thank those who wished me luck last night when I was trying to burn some midnight oil which didnt turned out like what I wanted..haha..especially the one who accompanied me throughout the whole night. =)

More studying session starting tomolo..first stop..Klcc.. =D

Anyway..I guess X-men will not happen..I knew it..just like I think it will..and I dont really get it..but whatever.. =)

Current mood = Letoya's Not Anymore..good one.. =)

Unforgettable experience

2009-04-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

I suddenly recalled the things that came across my mind few weeks ago..and that thing actually kinda made me feel good..haha..

I mean..the story I heard regarding how the chocolates were sent over...which made it really obvious for everyone who knew it..to realise that there is meaning to it..and that looked pretty much desperate I guess..I thought this action was kinda embarassing enough as others actually noticed it..and were talking bout it..plus..the receiver is the one who told me the story.. =p

But..not till I noticed the distance it took to get the chocolates to be sent over..gosh..it was really..like super desperate..if its me..I dont think I will ever think of that..but..well..I guess I'm nobody to comment on this..afterall..I know its sincere.. =)

*end of story*

I must say that..today was indeed a tiring day..but yet..an amazing day..

Although the place sucks..and the weather was cooking me up alive..and we even seemed like we were lost in the middle of nowhere..plus I've been complaining alot throughout the whole day..still..I had a really great experience..a non forgettable one.. =)

And for this..I would like to thank Toong so much for accompanying me today.. =)

The whole experience of speaking in front of the camera..awesome! I thought I would ended up getting shivers and probably unable to present myself at all..but no..haha..I feel normal..which was impressive for the first time.. =D

I just love the experience..so much..but if there is another one coming up..no way..I wouldnt wanna get myself stranded in the middle of nowhere again..and costs me more then ten bucks to get there..unless...I have a driver next time..haha! =p

The result isnt what I'm looking forward anymore..I guess..I would still prefer my upcoming plans..and I'm still waiting for my first practice..which I hope that it will be soon..as I know..most of them were busy with the event in Monash tonight..

I really cant wait for it..but still..for the mean time..I shall make sure that it will not distract my concentration on the finals.. =)

And yes..I'm upset that darling's now done with her finals..and mine is just about to start..whyyy? I want to hang out with you..go makan and movieeee..and this time..with Toong..he's back..oh yea.. =p

By the way..I've watched Sniper..and the movie is nice..and the guys..just a word to describe it best..H-O-T..I guess there's no need for me to describe them further.. =)

Next movie coming up..I hope its X-Men..lets see.. =)

Random thoughts

2009-04-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

Like expected..it popped out at that particular time of day..

I wonder why..only that moment it will come..and the absence of courage actually restricted the answer to it...

At times..pessimistic thoughts will just appear out of nowhere..but most of the time..I will just figure out that it will be better to be left as it is.. =)

But like I said..I know you do know too.. =)

Anyway..karaoke session yesteday in Neway, OU was fun..there are more updated english songs..which I'm really glad..but still..I would prefer Redbox.. =)

And this was what happened when my mic's batteries were dead..ish..

Yea..out of boredom.. =p

They should really make a mic that would really last long..I dislike the disruption when I'm actually enjoying myself very much..haha..

Well..few more days to go for the first paper..and I'm almost done with the revision..a good start I guess.. =)

At the same time..good luck and all the best to my darling.. =D

Days have came and gone

2009-04-22T03:05:00.000+08:00

How long could I do this anymore..

How much patient is there left for me..

Perhaps some things are meant to be left just like the way it is..

Waiting for the day to arrive..

Anyway..

Happy 19th Birthday, dear Jasmine! =)

May you stay happy always!

And remember..you'll always have me whenever you're in need..love you lots! =D

*lotsa huggies and kisses!! =P *

Farewell Thee

2009-04-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

Finally..foundation has ended..although I used to want this so much..but somehow..my heart feels weird to have just ended the whole thing in such a short period of time..its not about the studies of course..its about my whole bunch of friends..

I will nvr ever be able to joke..study..hang out with them anymore..okie...unless I really go over to Kampar with 'Dat Dat' and 'Xiu Ye Zai' during the weekends..just to meet up with them..gosh..I'm already missing all of you..I wonder if you guys will ever miss me and my trademark too..haha.."huh?? what? what is ittttt???" in mandarin of course.. =p

Here's some fraction of memories we had together few days ago..

More on Facebook.. =) and I will never ever forget the memories we shared together in a year..afterall..I should thank all of you for I can now speak mandarin fluently..free mandarin lessons from you guys I guess.. =p

For now..good luck and all the best for the finals, buddies! we shall strive for it! =)

Have you ever went for a movie..and once you got into the cinema hall..your seat is nowhere to be seen? and you cant find your seat..and then you started wondering if you're in the wrong hall..but when you double checked..you're actually in the right hall..but its just the seat that is missing..

If you've tried before..I guess you've went to the Pavilion's GSC and in the 5th hall..haha..and probably your seat is A11 or A12.. =p

Coz thats exactly what happened to me on Wednesday..haha!

It was really funny that each row was twelve seated..but then the last row's number was written from 1 till 9 only..how could that be possibly happened! ishh..thank God I counted how many seats were there in each row..or else..I'll be wondering if someone's putting a prank on me.. =p

What a nice experience.. =p

Ku takkan pernah tertawa

Ku takkan pernah bahagia

Ku takkan pernah merasakanmu

Bila kau tak disini

Ku takkan pernah tertawa

Ku takkan pernah sempurna

Ku takkan pernah merasakanmu

Bila kau tak disini

Productive day indeed

2009-04-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

I must admit..the Green Tea Latte that I've been forced to try for the first time tasted kinda nice..hahaha..okie..not really forced la..but was encouraged to try it out..but still..I must say that..the colour seriously..super green la..like super alot of colouring like that..although I know its organic colour.. =S

Probably bcoz we ordered Hot Green Tea Latte instead of Ice Blended Green Tea Latte that looked tempting with the whipped cream on top of it..haha..I'm so gonna order that the next time.. =) Probably I should just forget about Pure Vanilla Ice Blended and try out for Green Tea Latte and Chai Latte instead..yummmyyy~ =p

Overall..today is indeed a productive day..at least mine is more productive rather than someone who just copied someone else's notes and referred that as productive..haha..

Finally..I'm done with marginal and absoprtion costing..thank goodness..I've been working on it for more than a week...thanks to Xian and Sean for helping out though.. =) and I think I gotta start speeding up my revision on other topics as well before I run out of time to cover all the topics..

Two more weeks to go.... =)

Talentime

2009-04-11T03:29:00.000+08:00

Wonderful outing with Darling, Xian and Jasmine yesterday.. =)

Moreover..Talentime is seriously awesome..I loveeeeeee it! I know most of the ppl would be like "what? Talentime? isnt it some kinda malay movie? is it even nice?"..but hey ppl..firstly..you dont even wanna support our local movie..secondly..you dont even know how meaningful the show is..if you have that thought ppl..you missed out sth in life..

Anyway..if you have watched movies like Sepet and Gubra..you will like Talentime for sure..its the same director anyway...Yasmin Ahmad.. =) there are always moral values in her movies..and it is touching..I admit..I cant stop my tears from rolling off my cheecks..great job done by the talented young actors.. =)

By the way..I like Mahesh..alot.. =p although a lot of ppl kinda into Howard..

My favourite poem from the movie..recited by Melur to Mahesh..its really beautiful and sweet.. =)

If the moon can come lingering in the morning so bright, why cant the sun do the same at nite?

After movie..we had secret recipe..and the cakes were yummyy.. =)

We had White Chocolate Macadamia, Durian Cheese, Classic Cheese and Chocolate Indulgence..if you are a durian fan..you will definitely adore durian cheese..haha.. =p

While at night..I managed to catch up for a drink with Ivan, Kc, Xian and Pc..although Sam is in the States..but he's still in our conversation most of the time..but regardless of what..its better to just keep it within ourselves..haha.. =p I cant wait for Sam to come back on December though.. =)

Study time with Darling and Xian was interesting today..I could only managed to study two pages of my slides for a chapter..which is totally wrongggggg...thanks to both of them..cracking jokes and laughing out loud non-stop for continuously few hours..

But still..at least...there is sth that I managed to study and understand during the whole studying session in McD.. =)

Anyway..my fav conversation today which is My Cup of Tea by Darling and Xian..

Its like a chinese tea..you refill it again and again..until it becomes tasteless

Its like a cup of Ice Blended Mocha..not really the right drink that I wanted but too wasted to be thrown away

But the nicest one is always the Pure Vanilla Ice Blended..but its not always that I'll get to have it..just occasionally

What a good one I must say..hehe.. =p

I wonder how can they be soooooooooooo creative..I'm totally speechless..haha..

Anyway..its funny how someone can just twist things and made it sounds like the other way round..but afterall..I know the real intention..its obvious..I just knew it..I know it is too the other way round.. =)

The Fast and The Furious 4

2009-04-08T02:32:00.000+08:00

Have you guys watched The Fast and The Furious 4? If the answer is no..then you should go and watch it..although I must say that its more to storyline instead of stunts.. =p but still..the movie's great..after three sequences..still..everything's good..

There were more muscle cars this time..Mustang and the rest which I dont know much..I must say..muscle cars are kinda interesting..I do kinda like it.. =p but hey..there's newest Scooby in the movie..and I loveeeeee it so much..the two tone paint was totally awesome..(okie..I admit..I'm a huge Scooby fans okie.. =p)..there's R34 too..just like 2 Fast 2 Furious..Paul Walker's R34..haha..

There was R35 too! But unfortunately..Paul Walker just named the R35 as his selection..it did not really appeared in the whole driving scene..hmm..and there was this new Camaro too..exactly the same painting as the one in Transformers as BumbleBee..haha! and a short scene of M3.. =p

Besides this few listed ones..the rest were almost all muscle cars..awesome ones.. =)

And now..the new Scooby hatchback from the movie..sweeeeeeet! =p

And the R35 that looks sth like this..I likeee.. =)

And now the rest..

Okie..seriously..I really really reallyyy do hope Han's gonna come back in The Fast and The Furious 5..Han gotta come back no matter what..he's like so damn cool okie! it was kinda disappointing that he just appeared in the first few scenes..whyyy?! haha..okie..pleaseeee..get Han an important role in the next sequence.. =p If anyone of you actually forgotten who Han was..here's a photo to remind you of the guy who 'did' the donnaught stunt in Tokyo Drift..

One of the memorable quote from Han in Tokyo Drift:
Life is simple, you make choices and you dont look back.. =)

By the way..he got nicer hairstyle this time..he looks better with his hair now.. =p

At the same time..there were suggestions that the fifth sequence should actually use the R35 and 370Z..will it be possible? well..guess I'll just gotta wait for the next one to come..cant wait.. =p

Before wrapping things up..my favourite quote in this sequence is from Dom played by Vin Diesel..its sth like this..

When I see someone flashing the lights from the back, I dont stop

Sweeet! =p

P/s: What's with the direct malay translation of the movie title..its hilarious..'Pantas dan Garang 4'...wth!! you must be kidding me..most of us laughed our ass out in the cinema.. =p