Just A Rant

I finally come to the conclusion that, I gotta stop trying. I mean, I gotta stop thinking that there might be a possibility that things are not how it appears to be now. Sometimes, I just hate the feeling of contradiction that I have within myself. When I had made my stand, I will still have the tendency of thinking that some things will be different if I do something differently. Which in short, hoping that the results will be better. However, what I realized was things will always remain the same, no matter what I did.

All I can say is, my intention is simple. In fact, its pretty clear and straightforward. Both words and actions used. When it comes to something or someone that matters to me, I could do anything. But, I dislike being taken for granted, thats for sure. And I do want at least some respect too. I can be easygoing but never gets over the border. That's when I'll start to take a step back and my guards will be up.

Perhaps, conveying my message through actions is a very bad idea at the first place. And now, I know someone might be saying 'I told you so'. =p

Whatever it is, I think I can finally confirm on the outcome and helps me to come up with a firm decision too. =] I gotta let go before things get deeper. Also, I've been through the exact same thing before and I wouldn't wanna experience this again.

Owh, anyway, I am still surviving everyday with the amount of assignments to be completed. And I know I'm not alone. =p


Love,
-RyLLz-

Actions or words

There's always a certain period of time where I will always listen to the songs from a particular singer till I get so bored of it. And since last week, I've been indulging myself with the songs from Kylie Minogue. Its not only the latest songs from the album, Aphrodite, but also the ones from previous albums. I just got hooked up all of a sudden. So, if you so happened to be in my car, you will be listening to them all the way to your destination. =p

Seriously, her songs makes me groove. In another words, its a good way to feel awesome after a hectic day or when something is bothering my mind. Plus, it kinda feels like a confidence booster too. =]

Anyway, its the fifth week of college now and the assignments are kinda overloading. Not to mention, at least 3 assignments in each subject, which sums up to roughly about 12 assignments in total. The bright side is that, I do not have a midterm unlike most of my dear friends. There's pros and cons to that, pros is that I don't have to study and burn my midnight oil to prepare for the exam, while the cons is that, I will have to really frigging burn my midnight oil during my finals. Stuffing everything into my mind which I have learnt from the first week till the very last week.

But, I love marketing. I love it that I do not have to mainly memorize on the theories and definitions or formats and whatsoever. All I need to do is just to attend the lectures, understand the topic and apply it in the answers for a situational question. It may be tough for the very first time, but once I managed to hold the grasps of it. Its not as hard as it seems anymore. No doubt, there's a lot of writing needed which may eventually ended up with a sore hand once its done. But still, I enjoy it. The thing is, doing something that you like will make the hardship unnoticed. =]

What about wanting to do something that you like, but there's just something stopping you? Like what I did, consider the worthiness of it. If its not worth doing after all, just stop and move on to something else. Better things are yet to be discovered. =]

No doubt, there's still a little bit of ups and downs, which is really normal in everyone's life. A little bit of confusion here and there too, but it doesn't really matter anymore.

Recently, there has been a lot of informations that I gained on something that was once matters to me. Coincidence? I don't know. But, knowing what I know now doesn't really mean much to me anymore. Plus, I don't usually judge someone by just merely listening to one side of the story too.

One thing I learnt. Sometimes, its not really much of what is said, its the actions that reveal what it really is.

I must say, I'm really flattered with things that I was told of the other day. And I'm also glad knowing someone who I can really share my thoughts with. =]



Love,
-RyLLz-

Being True

I'm indeed relieved that most of the things are kinda settled down for now. Felt so stress dealing with so many things which were turning sour at the same time. Not to mention, the huge weight that I managed to lift up from my shoulder too.

See, the things is, when few things popped up at the same time, all we need to do is just to calm down and start planning on what steps needed to be taken to solve them one at a time. There's nothing that can't be solved. There's just decision that we know we are supposed to make but yet, we are reluctant to make it. Probably we felt that things are so right when its actually so wrong. Hence, we tend to neglect everything else.

Are we supposed to live like we are dying? Or shall we make decisions by thinking of the consequences of an action? Both of these are indeed contradicting but still, it goes back to the word - 'choice'.

Somehow, I will never let myself get beaten down for long. Couldn't stand the negativity that makes life miserable. Its normal to give a good cry at a point where we felt lost. But once its all out, its time to just move on and let the past be memories. Never hold grudges to anything nor anyone.

Another thing which I've learned from a friend of mine recently is that, there's really no need for justification of who you really are. Anyone has the rights to talk about anything to whoever at all. And yes, its human nature that people do tend to act as the victim in a situation, especially when they are telling it to a friend. The blame is always on the other side. But instead of clarifying ourselves after being accused, the best thing was just to let it go and stay true to ourselves. Standing firm and being who we really are. Eventually, people will notice and find out what is the real deal. ( I really do admire my friend on that. =] )

At the same time, I believe that there is always faults in both sides instead of one in every situation. Its just that we are too arrogant to admit our own faults most of the time, thinking that it would be much easier to just point the finger at others and no questions will be asked. Everyone will be on our side then. Somehow, there's a wise man who taught me to take up the responsible version of some situations where I had been through, admitting that it was part of my fault whenever I share it with a friend. And seriously, nothing feels much better than that. Also, it portrays the level of our maturity too. Things will just gets easier and better. Trust me and just do it. You will feel the difference.

One of the keys to happiness, just like how the saying goes,

When life gives you lemon, make a lemonade out of it.

Or






Love,
-RyLLz-

Trust

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy. -Walter Anderson-




- plays an important role in my life. Selfish decision made is just another implication of not potraying honesty and not being transparent. Its worst when I took the risk and had actually opened up myself completely at the first place.

But, I never did regret on taking the risk and open up myself everyday in my life. I do believe that in order for someone to take a risk and open up his or herself to me, it needs to be started from me. I tend to place myself in one's shoe before I made any decision. I know, I will never want to be kept in the dark, no matter what happens. I know I will never want to be in a situation where I felt clueless and helpless. I know I will never want to be in a place where I don't know if I made any mistakes. I know I will never want to be in a guessing game. I will never want to hide the truth just to make someone feel better.

However, things will not always go according to how we want it to be. We cant force anyone to do anything according to our way. Not everyone will be on the same page or have the same stand in certain things. Afterall, it is all about giving and taking, compromising.

These things are all crucial in a relationship. Be it friends or lovers. When it involves two person, decisions should always be made with each other's consent. Selfish decision made will tend to hurt the other individual. Hence, lost in trust.


Well, anyway, its been a great time. I enjoyed and appreciate the companion. I wish I could really know more, but its a choice made. And I will respect that. Afterall, I know I had a piece of lovely memory in me.



Love,
-RyLLz-