I am really starting to believe that there's a serious issue now. At this point, I'm starting to think if its really my problem. Too much of misunderstandings and now I'm doubting. I thought it is crucial to share all the thoughts and emotions to one another. I thought things are supposed to be spoken out to gain better understanding. I thought we could just leave our pride and listen in order to give and take.
How can things ever be good if only one side is expected to be heard and accepted. How can two minds ever think alike or reach an agreement on certain things when there's so many differences in nature besides than sharing, listening and accepting each others' point-of-views instead of both trying to win. Most of all, what's the point of sharing what one's really feel when the other party already have the mindset that they are right and what they focus on are just to make the other party to agree on their very own point-of-view. Imagine a tug-of-war. Both sides trying to get each other onto their sides. Its just a never ending story and at the end of the day, its just exhausting.
To be honest, I used to be someone who never likes to back down too. I've always wanted to get my message across, and expect the other person to accept it and just deal with it, disregard of whatever reasoning that they have given to disagree with me. Worst still, I just couldn't accept any different opinions countering to mine. Eventually, it leads to frustration and anger, both sides. How could possibly the same person always ended up being right and the other always wrong? It just doesn't make sense at all.
At one point, I learnt the true meaning of tolerance from a wise friend of mine. Its a very simple thing, but human tend to have ego and that's the whole obstacles to that. Given the thought about it, does anger make things better? Does yelling just to make the other person agree with you works? No. It just backfires. Imagine the tug-of-war again. Instead of each side exerting all their strengths to pull one another to their sides, what about each side taking a step forward towards each others' sides? There's no need to feel exhausted coz of the pulling, and yet, both get a step forward and still reaches a balance. A win-win situation.
The point is, all each party needs to do is to just listen, acknowledge and accept the other party's point-of-views and share their own point-of-views. Both needs to do the same thing in order to achieve the balance. Its impossible to reach that balance with only one party doing so. Its all about giving and taking. When both starts giving, both gets taking.
Again, I admit that I'm not perfect. Sometimes, I tend to give in to my own pride and ego too. I may still stand by my own point-of-views and get carried away. It is not easy for one to let go off their image and pride, and start listening. But I always remind myself and do my best to be tolerant.
Hence, sometimes I may be right and sometimes I may be wrong. But whatever it is, anger is just not a solution to anything. Screaming and yelling will just hurt one another and that's a fact. I never wanted to feel regret for saying anything hurtful just because I was blinded by anger. But if that's what I'm getting, perhaps, I shall just stop sharing what I really feel to avoid feeling sad or mad or hurt to both sides. There's just no point to it when things will get worse. Its just not fair to never have the chance to be heard and accepted and only expected to agree on the other side's point-of-view.
I'm making it a point to not shed anymore tears on things like this, ever.
