Subconscious Mind Power

I could still remember very well how today was celebrated last year. With my new bought dress specially for the dinner in Souled Out. All dressed up and looking great together. Pizzas and the long hour talk. It was such a memory.

And today, after hesitating for days, I have finally decided to just go ahead with whatever comes to my mind, knowing very well that I wouldn't want to feel any regrets. I did not bother much bout the outcome. I never expect anything in return. I just did it sincerely from the very bottom of my heart. After all, I can't control of anything. Its not that I did not want to think of any consequences from my action. I just think that I should just do what I really wanted. Afterall, life's too short to spend so much time thinking and ended up doing nothing.

I also realized today that people tend to act in a way they desire subconciously. In other words, they tend to do things that they really wanted without realizing that they really do. Complicated I know. I couldn't believe that for the first time I spent my night driving around with the hope of making myself feel better, or perhaps finding peace within myself would ended up in a place that I never thought that I will return to.

I drove circling that small little playground in front of the house where I spent my cny, seeing fire crackers burnt on the grass and the drain. Not once, but a few times, looking into the house, searching for that familiar thing that I once commented as 'so-so nice'. Unfortunately, no where to be seen. I passed by that place where I called it as a cosy place, where I always pictured of someone saying 'Would you like to have a cup of tea?'. Then I stopped at the side, trying to clear of every single thing of what I feel and left, headed home.

These are memories that has brought joy to me at a point in life. Whatever it is, it will just remain as memories. Now and always. Apart of me do feel glad that everything is moving on just fine without my existence, with great companies and friends as I can see from whatever evident to me.

And I know I would be able to do the same too. As always, I'm grateful to all my darlings and great friends who have constantly be there for me. Through my ups and downs. I seriously enjoyed the awesome trip I had with them. Hopefully, there's more to come! =]