Praying hard

Yesterday was the first time ever I've reached the most extreme level of stressness over my studies. I am always stressful during the finals but this time, it was really really bad. I was panicking over CB, knowing the fact that it took me hours to finish one case study when I attempted to write it as a practice. In the exam, I gotta write 1 freaking long case study with 3 long essays which requires at least 2 booklets of answers. So I stayed up, studying with Do and Felicia till 3 in the morning. And by the time I got home, I felt so much relieved that I managed to cover most of the revision for the paper the next day, which is today.

However, things didn't get any better as in the exam, I actually didn't manage to finish answering all the questions. I did not complete my case study, just halfway done and out of 3 long essays, I only did 2. Which left me praying to get at least a pass for this subject, no other choice. Again, I was devastated knowing the fact that I only have a 50-50 chance of passing. Sigh. It really sucks.

For now, I can just focus on the other 3 subjects that I will be sitting for on Friday and the following week.

Also, there's this thing that I just couldn't take it anymore. I know things have always ended up the same way. Countless of same experience. And I've always think about other matters that I've established along the way. Hesitated to start all over again. But now, I know very clearly that I would just forget bout it and start from the bottom again, rather than having to experience the same routine or cycle for the rest of my life. I don't want to waste any more time and effort on things that will never change.

With that said, I was actually really surprised when there's someone who understand exactly what I was feeling and manage to speak out what was the reason behind all that. And yea, I really starting to feel that this person can really reads my mind or is able to see through me.

And with what I have and experiencing now, I just don't want to mess it up even when most of the time I actually felt the uncertainty.