Whatever

Truth has finally revealed. I know things would turn out exactly like how it is now. I did prepare myself to embrace whatever that may come. I've figured out every possibility of how things could ended up like. I never wanted to involve anyone else but only myself. Often, I wanted to just say things out loud, but I just tend to care too much of the consequences and the emotions that I need to go through. Many times, I just suck it up, and hold back from blabbering everything out. I know clearly that I don't want to be emotionally pressured. I just want to be in the stress-free state.

I do know that many would be thinking and deciding who should be listed as at fault. Or worse still, deciding who should be blamed. But let me clarify this, no matter how awesome someone else is treating me, I wouldn't even have a single thought of it if I'm so happy with the state I was in at that time. Things wouldn't be like now if responsibilities are taken seriously. No matter what, I believe I owe myself happiness. I owe myself a chance to be treated better. I shall stop concerning bout how everyone else feels but myself. At the end of the day, I do realized that nobody can stop this nightmare but myself. No point thinking of everything else when all they think about are themselves too.

Things happened after everything was cleared up and had a long thought about the consequences that may happened. Nobody owes any explanations in this case. Nobody was in the picture when my decision was made anyway. A good man who showed me the importance of my existence in his life, there's nothing else that I would want to ask for more. Its just so that its not someone unknown and everyone starts to create havoc out of it. Between someone who's been treating you like crap and anyone at all who is treating you awesome, you can do the maths.

I'm tired of being treated as just a 'company'. The feelings I had was ignored. The need I had was ignored. Excuses given when promises were broken. Those are just crap to me. These things wouldn't even have happened at the first place if I was so important at all. So many chances wouldn't be wasted too. Enough is enough. Sometimes, just stop, think about yourself before you start judging others. Also, for anyone at all, know both sides of the story before judging too.

From now on, I'm just going to treasure things that are worth of my concern. Its just too late for any changes that were supposed to be made at the first time, second time and the umpteenth time.