Food Poisoning

I have successfully survived my food poisoning experience yesterday. It was a horrible weekend. Started off with pain in the stomach, which I thought it was a gastric pain initially and slowly it developed nausea. The entire Saturday night I couldn't get a good night sleep, as I kept waking up every hour with the thought of getting to the toilet to puke. As I was too tired, I forced myself to go to bed till the next morning, I couldn't stand it anymore. I rushed to the toilet to puke and once I was done, I got back to the bed and continued sleeping. And later in the afternoon, there came diarrhea. So, it was confirmed that I was suffering from food poisoning. I got so exhausted and down with massive headache and bodyache for the entire Sunday. I was basically bedridden, sleeping the entire day.

So, what I had the night before which caused me food poisoning? I suspected the 'Baked Fish Fillet' from The Ship. It was a dory fish, topped with baked cheese, and it was watery. Seriously, fish that is watery. And it doesn't even taste good. Its plain and tasteless. I didn't realize it till mom questioned me what I had the night before and when I told her bout the fish, she asked 'Don't you think that the fish is not fresh when its watery?'. Yeah, I was clueless till I had all this puking going on. And it was just too late to realize by then. Hence, I'm banning this dish from The Ship from now onwards. In fact, I'm banning myself from fish for a long period of time. I am a fish lover. And due to this incident, I'm seriously refraining myself from fish till I'm ready or feel comfortable to have fish again. Every time I think of fish, I still feel like puking. Although to be honest, I am not completely sure it was the fish, but high chances, it is, coz that was the only thing I had that seemed funny that day.

Anyway, after a super sick day, I got medicines from a friend, and thanks to her, I slowly recover from it. The medicines work perfectly, and today itself, I'm feeling much better. I don't feel lethargic, no more bodyaches and no more massive headaches. Everything is back to normal. Perhaps, just a little itsy bitsy of uncomfortable feeling in the stomach. I still get a little bit tired, but at least I could stand and walk straight again. Also, I'm grateful to have someone who would care for me the entire time I was sick. Thank you for getting the medicines for me, buying me lots of breads and keeping me company till I fell asleep. I really appreciate it.  =]

Let's hope its gonna be a productive week for me. Finish up my book that I have started reading since Friday and perhaps, getting my FYP sorted out on the topic and getting the necessary journals for perusal. Of course, filling up some time for badminton or running. =]

Choices

Knowing how happy one of my friend is, got me into thinking how a relationship could bring one's happiness.

I guess one of the key is to have common interest. Or perhaps, doing interesting things together. Things or activities which may require interactions, or teamwork. When there's teamwork involved, it helps to improve communication, tolerance, patience and whole lot more between each other. Adventurous activities like hiking and camping could do more fun and at the same time, offering a sense of accomplishment by the end of the activity is a bonus (no doubt, it is tiring too). When the typical dinner dates and movie dates can no longer offer the sparks needed, it indicates the time to move on to activities that requires interactions. Never let things become a boring and dull routine is important, which in most cases, would kill off a relationship after a few years. The thought of having someone already in his or her life often make oneself to take things for granted. So much so, promises started to be broken and words became just merely words. Everything are often decided based on the 'mood' itself. If the mood isn't there after everything has been planned, things can just be cancelled off or postponed or even re-postponed for countless of times till you just get so fed up of it and decided to just forget bout the entire plan. And sooner or later, you found that the whole relationship has became meaningless.

Hence, lots of efforts are still needed regardless of how many years the relationship has been. Once in a while, its great to remember things that brought both together, to remind each other the very core reason why both fell for each other at the very first place. For as time goes by, people just tend to adapt, grow and change along the years. However, still it takes two hands to clap. There's no point too if there's only one who would put in so much efforts and the other doesn't. By the end of the day, one would just get so fed up and decided that there's no reason to stay anymore. And when the other realized it, it may be all too late and there's nothing can be done to save the relationship. 

Anyway, after 9 years, its time for me to just really stop and take a break. After all the disappointments, heartaches, unpredictable circumstances, I know what I really needed is just some time alone to rediscover myself. I guess I have been letting everyone and everything around me to shape me into who I am now in the recent years. And along the way, I've just lost myself, bits by bits. What is worse, is when there's so much uncertainties right ahead of me now, hoping that each and every decisions I made will be of the best for me in the near future. Hoping that some trade-offs made is of worth both now and later.

Well, afterall, if it is to be, its up to me. A saying that I've learnt from a wise man. =]

Independent

So, bro has finally and officially out from the house. Although the initial plans were to move out together, but I guess, there are just times where things will not be able to fall into places as planned. Still, I'm glad that he's out, and I really do hope he'll have a great time, building his very own family. As for me, I'm just gonna enjoy my 'alone' time in the room tonight. After more than 22 years, I'm finally staying in a single room all by myself. LOL. But yet, I do miss the presence of him in the room. In this room, we fought, we had heart-to-heart talk, we laughed, we cried together. The thought of not being able to talk to him or tease him the moment I come home after a busy day kinda sucks. Owh well, I will get used to it soon. After all, I guess I can just crash at his place if I wanted to. =p I'm still anticipating the Cluedo or Monopoly night.

And now, Ruby is entirely taken care by me. Have to really make some time to accompany this little girl and bring her to the park more often in the weekends. In return, she will keep me company every night when I go to bed. =] Just got to make sure that I feed her the vitamins daily and keep her clean all the time.

So, there's this thing that somehow bothers me for quite some time now. And it just tends to get even more annoying to me. There's nothing much that I can do as I can't really control one's thoughts or actions. Guess, I'll continue to stay firm with my decision, and this should also be the only way. As much as I wanted to go off for a trip all this while, I don't want it anymore, not when its you. I'm completely fed up of the whole thing.
And I can say that I can really do much better all by myself. =]

Afterall, now is not the right time for anything more than myself. Gotta focus on the FYP first. And, I am now considering of changing the title into something perhaps, less common, just like how a friend of mine suggested and got me thinking about it. Gotta get it done by December. Thus, it will  be a hectic month for me and I love being busy and productive. =]

The Transition

Just when i thought that everything is over. There it goes, unexpectedly appeared right in front of me, after months of disappearance. Whatever it is, I do believe now that it got to really hit you hard at one point till you got so numb over it and realize that everything just needs to be put to an end. No one mentioned that things would be easy. But it is indeed through those misery and hardship that people learnt what's the best for them. So am I.

Life has indeed been pretty rocky. Juggling between so many issues that cause much frustration and restless nights. I really do appreciate those who listens to me with patience. Or even those who did not listen but did lend me the shoulders for me to cry on. Thank you. And I do feel guilty to those who worried so much bout me and have always stayed on standby just to ensure that I am safe and fine. I would never know, if you have never told me bout it. Thanks for your honesty and of course, thanks for your concern. I really do appreciate it. =]

Anyway, as usual, each time after a break down, strength and determination will be regained and issues are settled one at a time. Things will get much better as the mind is less clouded and things can be seen much clearer now. Afterall, things that shouldn't be concerned should be thrown away to a far distance and shall never be looked at. What's more important is to prioritize as always, and set up a plan to achieve what have always been desired in life, the goals.

And, I have also decided to live up to my words, keeping my promises I have once made. I will always be there to listen, if you shall ever need someone to listen to. I may not  be able to read your mind and know whats your true thoughts. And it doesn't really matter if its unappreciated or like you said, that you don't feel worthy to be treated good. And it also doesn't matter if you would still listen to me if I ever needed someone to talk to and I could hit you with a pot like you have asked me to, if you ever break your promise. Lol. The truth is, I wouldn't even want to bother you with my unnecessary rantings to your already hectic and stressful life. This applies to everyone around me. One thing I know for sure is that everyone has their very own issues, and they are revealed to me as time passes by when trust are developed. And this is where I would come in, and listen and offer comfort needed. I care for everyone around me. And especially the few ones who meant a lot to me. Its a promise that I made and I will keep for as long as I can. =]

Another thing for sure is that, NOTHING will ever break the bonds and love between the darlings. You girls have become like a family and nothing tears this family apart. You girls have become my priority too. Hence, no matter how far I'm away, I would still rush my way to you girls like I've always did. =]

Owh well, whats needs to be done has been done, and what needs to be ended has been ended. Decision made is indeed the best foor both of us, I believe. And for the mean time, I'm just gonna focus on my career searching, FYP, great awesome time with the darlings, friends and anticipating the arrival of new members into my family.

Afterall, life's great for me, now! =D

And I'm still anticipating for a short trip. =]